New NBA Logos Aplenty!

While most of you are watching the NBA's final game of the championship series, I'm watching the REAL important thing in the NBA: TEAMS ARE GOING CRAZY AND CHANGING ALL OF THEIR LOGOS!

Witness, with your damn eyes, the new logo:

Oh...wait...that's their old logo from the 90s with the purple substituted for blue. Well, at least it's better than that mountain logo thing they had!

Hold on, hold on a sec...I'm confused. The note logo is their SECONDARY logo, and they KEPT the mountain thing and made THAT blue as well? There's now ORANGE in there TOO?

Well, let's see what the Warrior's new logo looks like:

Um...so their old logo is their new logo too?! Color me confused. I can't believe that they didn't even put some clouds in the sky of that blue circle. While I do think the Warriors "new" logo is an upgrade (the old logo was far too..."San Francisco" if you know what I mean), it's a shame that graphic designers aren't actually coming up with anything new these days.

My only hope is the Nets owner succeeds in making a Russian hooker their new logo for when they move to Brooklyn. Pleeeeeeease let that happen.

Boston vs Utah Live Streaming

The Boston Celtics are getting closer in on a third straight Atlantic Division title thanks mainly to their defense. A resurgent Paul Pierce also has helped. Pierce and the Celtics seek to triumph their fifth straight on Monday night when they complete a three-game road trip against the Utah Jazz.

Watch Boston Celtics vs Utah Jazz Live Streaming Free

Another division title is all but a foregone conclusion for Boston (45-24), which has a 10-game lead over Toronto with 13 games remaining. The Celtics have looked particularly strong this month, winning nine of 12, including the last four by an average of 13.5 points.

Happy 1000th Win, Gramps!

Jerry Sloan, the guy I REPEATEDLY pick to win coach of the year (and never does), just got his 1,000th win tonight. This makes me very happy as Jerry Sloan acts a lot like a kind grandfather-type guy to the press, and you almost want to give him a hug, a cardigan, and a bag of Werther's Original Butterscotch Candies.

I'm sure to his players he is a foul-mouthed, tempermental coach who is great at Xs and Os and doesn't really have much patience when it comes to mistakes, but who cares? At least on camera he sounds like something grandma would pat affectionately on the shoulder:




Listen to those good-natured chuckles. Someone get this guy a "my grandchildren love me" t-shirt, because dammit...we do.

Real NBA Superstars Wipe Themselves With Leaves

I absolutely love these outtakes/interviews/candid videos from the "redeem team" commercial shoots. It's like someone took all of the sheen and filters off of the stars and told them to behave as they normally would.

Take, for instance, this interview with Deron Williams and Chris Paul. I've often wondered what I would bring if I went on a camping trip. While my natural inclination would be to say a bed or something to shelter my body from the pounding elements and grizzlies, Chris Paul has a good point and made me realize that Little Debbie Snack Cakes (when given enough of them) could make a rather comfortable bed.

Slow News Day Cheerleader Of The Day: Jazz

What, citizens? You say wee little Earl Boykins signing a deal to play in Europe is your big news story of the day? Have no fear! -For you are about to be saved by...

The Slow News Day Cheerleader Of The Day!

This week we travel to beautiful Utah, the home of...Utahians. The Utah Jazz dancers are apparently called the "Nu Skin Dancers", a name which I don't really understand. Since Utah is chock full o' mormons, I can only imagine that "Nu Skin Dancers" must be some sort of Biblical reference. I vaguely remember learning in my catholic high school (Pope John XXIII, hoo-rah) that God commanded Noah to build an ark, housing two of each animal and a vast array of "Nu Skin Dancers."

Fun Fact: You can only achieve this pose if you accept Jesus as your one true savior. Try it!

What Every Rockets Fan Is Thinking As They Watch This Series

Sure, the Rockets had that great winning streak during the season...but we all knew that TMac and company would inevitably go belly up as soon as they got in the playoffs. Even worse, as soon as they drew the Utah Jazz (the team they lost to last year) the writing was on the wall that their time in the sun would most likely end in most heartbreaking fashion.

-But why even try to explain what it's like to be a Houston fan right now, down 0-2 and knowing your team needs TMac to suddenly erase the gene him and Vince Carter share that makes daily effort so difficult? Sometimes the gift of song can tell the story like no other:

Orlando Wants Some Respect/Dallas Resembling The Hindenburg

Tonight the Magic beat the Raptors 104-103 to go up 2-0 in the series. Even more interesting, Dwight Howard had over 20 points and 20 rebounds as the Magic, becoming the first player in nearly 40 years to do so in consecutive playoff games. The last guy was Nate Thurmond, who played for the San Francisco Warriors (their original name before they deemed it "not gay enough" and went with "Golden State").

The Magic are still looking for some semblence of respect in the playoffs, sitting idly by as analyst after analyst says, "I can't wait to see East title contenders Boston, Detroit and Cleveland!" The Magic certainly aren't going to get their much-deserved respect by beating the Raptors (a team who is Chris Bosh and little else. Bosh scored 29 tonight while the rest of the starting lineup COMBINED to score 17). This makes me excited to see the Magic do some damage in the next round of the playoffs. Coupled with Utah and Philly, I am all-out rooting for the Dangerfield no-respect teams during the playoffs. Carlos Boozer can't even get any respect when he lets Prince stay over!

In other news, that "Dallas winning it all" preseason pick I had is looking as good as Billy Zane's chances of ever being relevant again in mainstream culture. They lost to the Hornets by 24 tonight, their second straight blowout loss. I'd say the door is still open for them since it is a 7 game series, but Chris Paul is completely schooling Kidd out there. Tonight Paul exploded for 32 points and 17 assists, signalling a true end to Kidd's dominance as best point guard (not named Nash) in the league and making it completely obvious he is the MVP this year. The best Dallas could throw back was Brandon Bass, Lance Bass' african american bizarro. Not looking good horsie fans.

Hey, So Some Games Happened This Weekend: Game 1s In Review

Man, what a fantastic first weekend of NBA playoff action!

That was a complete Marv Albert-esque "smack me in the face because that is such a commercial slogan statement", I know, but it is nontheless true.

-The Magic showed that they are a team to be reckoned with, by slaughtering the Raptors with 43 points and an NBA playoff record-tying 9 three-pointers in the first quarter. Bargnani fans everywhere wept.

-The Lakers put the Nuggets away in a game with basically no defense at all (242 combined points were scored). Radmanovic inches ever closer to his "ugliest man to ever win a championship" title.

-In the words of former Arizona Cardinals coach Dennis Green, the Celtics "WERE WHO WE THOUGHT THEY WERE!" and easily put the Hawks away by 23 points. The Hawks had as much of a shot of winning one game in this series as the movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall had of making me laugh more than once (which, incidentally, it did not do. Save your cash, folks).

-Lebron beat Arenas and company to help the Cavs take a 1-0 lead over the Wiz. This game was really close the whole way through and I am firmly sticking to my prediction that Washington wins this series. How COULD I pick the Cavs when Arenas is taking shots like this?!?

-The Jazz beat Houston in what will probably be the quietest series of the bunch. Rafer and Yao were out, making TMac actually deliver on his "It's on ME!" comments from last year. Results: Not. So. Good. McGrady actually used the words “Yes, we miss Rafer" after the game. That's probably what the people said on the Titanic moments before they drowned.

-Chris Paul is looking mighty fine in the MVP voting after an incredible regular season and game against the Mavs. This is all despite his horrendously shitty website. David West...I acknowledge you are a good player, even though the rest of the world doesn't. Poor wittle D.West...

-The 76ers, my team to shock and awe the rest of the world...by winning 2 of the 6 games in this series (man, I should have really had the cajones to pick more than that)...WON the first game 90-86 in Detroit. Reggie Evans (seen levitating right) looked like a monster and Andre Miller was playing like a career all-star instead of a guy once swapped out for Earl Boykins. If Rodney Carney actually develops, this "Mo Cheeks, Mo Problems" squad has a crazy bright future. Yes, I know that phrase is already played, but I'll be damned if I stop using it!

-And finally the game of the weekend, the Spurs-Suns game which was Ginobili-ified to the max. If you heard a high pitched sound coming from the general direction of the northeast of America, chances are it was me squealing like a schoolgirl with delight while I was watching this one. I don't even particularly like either of these teams, especially San Antonio, but they put on one hell of a show. Tim Duncan 3 pointer for double overtime? Steve Nash with a tying three as he falls out of bounds? Boris Diaw sucking ass and almost singlehandedly losing the game for Phoenix? I have to stop typing before I faint, it was that damn good.

More commentary on the games to come, folks. This postseason is just getting started.

Western Conference Playoff Preview: This Could Get Messy

Now that the Western Conference games are over, we finally have all four match-ups cemented and ready to be predicted upon by idiots like me and Tim Legler. Seriously, we've got this covered. You don't need to watch. Why are you still considering to watch? We're going to tell you who'll win!

LA vs. Denver

Winner: Lakers in 4

Whyzzat?: I think I know the reason for 'Melo's DUI. It probably dawned on him that night that he was going to have his ass handed to him by Kobe in front of a national TV audience. The Lakers swept the regular season series 3-nil by an average of 16+ points and Nuggets gave up a second-worst 106.9 points per game. You could kind of tell that George Karl stopped believing in this team's chances early on since he saw just how bad of a defensive team this is. But damn! They're fun when those shots are falling.

New Orleans vs. Dallas

Winner: Dallas in 7

Whyzzat?: This is the prediction most likely to go wrong as biologists have discovered that my lips are permanently attached to Jason Kidd's ass. Yet, if tonight's game proved anything at all it's that Kidd is done trying to play second fiddle to Dirk. If Dallas can consistently get the ball out of the hands of the phenomenal Chris Paul, they should be able to come away as winners and then get slaughtered in the next round. But, if Chris Shinn feels like firing off his gun into Dirk's face, he's more than welcome to.

San Antonio vs. Phoenix

Winner: Spurs in 7

Whyzzat?: Last year, this match-up was the de facto championship which included nasty cuts, hip checks, and suspensions galore. Instead of following past years' credo to play faster than they ever have before, the Suns have gone the other way with their mid-season acquisition of Shaq. This could actually spell trouble for the defending champs, who are limping into this series with their team MVP, Manu Ginobili, hobbled. HOWEVA, if he can play, he'll put the Spurs over the top.

Utah vs. Houston

Winner: Jazz in 5

Whyzzat?: This year, McGrady's not even going to pretend that it's on him. This team is basically running on fumes and it's a shame. Expect at least one heroic game from Tracy, who may be without Skip To My Lou for part of this series. The Jazz better do the Rockets in quickly because they're not going to want to have to face a well-rested Lakers team after getting into a slug-fest with Houston.