Nice Play

My favorite play of the Magic's defeat of the Heat, where they came back from down 24 for one of the biggest wins of the season:

Oh man. Ish just got real with Gilbert Arenas and Laura Govan.

Something tells me he's not going to be inviting her to live with him and then kicking her out every weekend anymore. CBS Sports reports:

Orlando guard Gilbert Arenas was served with child support and custody papers as he left the court during halftime of the Magic’s game against Miami.
A process server stopped Arenas as he walked off the court during Thursday night’s loss to the Heat. The court documents, obtained by the Associated Press, were a California petition filed by Laura Mendoza Govan. She identified herself as his ex-girlfriend in the documents.
The petition seeks custody and child support for three children that Govan says Arenas fathered and has since “financially cut off.” She is also seeking support for another unborn child as well monthly support for the other children.
In the petition, she is seeking $109,000 in monthly support payments from Arenas and $1.3 million annually.

Why oh whyyy couldn't this have happened tomorrow, in Boston?! I'm really wondering what motivational speaker extraordinaire, head Coach Stan Van Gundy, had to say about this. The man has a natural grace about him, and a real way with words.

Eddie House Has Cajones

In case you missed it, here is Eddie House's game winner over the Thunder.

Screw that, we all know what you came to see. Here is Eddie House's bizarre "I have big testicles" dance after his gammer winner over the Thunder:

ZCD Podcast Episode 001: "Costumes Aplenty!"

The Zombies Can Dunk Podcast is officially here! In episode 1: Jordan and Taylor discuss costumes, NBA Jerseys, and play "HooAh or Hate" with mall santas and Spiderman!!!

Lebron's Relationship With Cleveland

This is pretty accurate:

I May Buy This Shirt

Screw You, Lebron. Thank God I sold my MSG Stock before you made your announcement.

Shaq Takes On The Heat Himself

I saw this when checking NBA box scores a while back, and forgot to post it. Not only is Shaq apparently a member of the Memphis Grizzlies, but he is now their new logo and a one man team.

We all knew this would happen eventually in Memphis.

Evidence For Why D-Wade Is Leaving Miami: Exhibit A

God damn....

Wade Is Great At Imitations

Gotta love a good Shaq imitation:

Tiger's Vote(s) For MVP

Tiger Woods is so good at golf that it was only a matter of time before his superpowers were used towards other sports...in this case forecasting the future of the NBA MVP race. I like this line of thinking, and whomever asked him this question is as close to me if I were a sideline reporter as you can get. I'm always the guy watching and yelling at the guy interviewing Michael Jordan, "Yeah, he thinks the Bulls will do well this year...BUT WHAT DOES HE THINK ABOUT THE TONYA HARDING SCANDAL?! ASK HIM!!!!"

Asking Tiger's opinion on the NBA isn't as out of left field as it seems. Tiger seems to be at every single Orlando Magic home game, and currently holds a solid 8000 to 2 advantage over JJ Redick in regards to times the cameras are on him. The best part of the video (in my opinion) is that Tiger seems incredibly solemn when answering, bordering on seeming sad. It's like he just narrowly lost the biggest tournament of his life. Since Tiger never loses, the closest thing to "loss" he knows is that Dwayne Wade won't win MVP:



It's okay, Tiger. Somehow with the bajillions you possess and the hot model wife, I'm sure you'll get over Dwayne coming in 3rd in the voting.

THF Goes To Miami For The Weekend: Finds Nothing Basketball-Related Going On

To take a brief respite from the news and talk about my own self: This past weekend I went to the city of Miami for the first time to check out "Miami Basil", which is (in non-pretentous speak) an enormous art fair with thousands of the top art galleries in the world presenting their work.



While this was all fancy and whatnot, the biggest thing for me was loading up on Miami Dolphins gear since I've been a Dolphins fan forever and can't score any aqua and/or orange swag above the Mason-Dixon line. I also just wanted to see how much Miami Heat stuff I could find since they won the championship not too long ago. As you can see, when it comes to worthwhile ways to spend money I am the equivalent of a drunk Charles Barkely in a casino.

Anyhoo, the big surprise to me was that I couldn't find any Heat or Dolphins stuff in the city of Miami!

I thought it was just that I wasn't looking in the right place, but then I went to the huge Lincoln Mall and also combed around several shopping areas in Miami Beach and Miami proper and came up with nothing but Camo-colored Marlins baseball caps. This is a shame of epic proportions to me as a Dolphins fan and those people who like the Heat. I went home to New York City with a cheap-looking Miami Dolphins hat, which was the only thing I could find at the airport in the "clearance" aisle...oh, yeah and I also purchased a very expensive piece of art from a gallery (this is less important on many levels).

While in the end I found a single Dolphins hat, I found NO Heat stuff whatsoever. -Not even an indication that they played in the city. I know they were bad last year, but this was still surprising.

Maybe this video below has something to do with it. Barak Obama does the unthinkable and becomes the first African-American president, uniting much of the country and bringing the prospect of hope in rather scary economic times. What does that result in? You guessed it, Dwayne Wade saying that if Obama gives some little kid an interview, that Wade would actually let Obama play against him.




My new opinion is that it's stuff like this that caused Obama to make his first secret act in office to be finding and burning all Miami Heat merchandise. I know, I know that the video is supposed to be cute, but if I were Obama I would watch this and say, "What a completely cocky piece of poop. I killed myself to get elected. One I get those secret service guys, I'm using them to force Dwayne Wade to lick my boot."

Shaq Nominated For The New Jersey Hall Of Fame

I usually try to come up with a silly title for these posts, but this one was silly enough. I've lived in New Jersey almost all of my life, and had no idea that there was such a thing as the "New Jersey Hall Of Fame". In there are such people as Frank Sinatra, Bruce Springsteen, and Yogi Berra. This year's crop includes Jerry Lewis, Bud Abbot, and Carl Lewis. I personally believe that Carl Lewis' music video is what got him nominated:



Anyways, now Shaq is nominated. I remember Shaq thanking the state of New Jersey when his Lakers beat the Nets in the NBA Championship a few weeks back. Shaq getting in the hall would be fantastic as the entry of such a giant opens up the floodgates for someone of my height (6 foot 5 inches) to one day enter the NJ Hall Of Fame. Once I get in, I will celebrate in an over the top fashion during my acceptance speech, like so:



"I have so many people to thank. My parents, my wife, my friends...ah screw it. Let's all get drunk and blow our money in Atlantic City."

Slow News Day Cheerleader Of The Day: Heat

I am simply shocked that there is no NBA news after a full weekend. Even on the slowest of weeks, there is something that happens over the span of two days to report on in pro basketball. I'm sure that it has much to do with the first week of the NFL season engulfing EVERYTHING sports news-related, but still...

Speaking of which, my Miami Dolphins lost to the Jets and Brett Favre, who has become one of the most loathsome players to watch in sports. Dolphins QB Chad Pennington's arm strength resembles that of a 3 year-old girl. I felt bad for 3 year-old girls for that comparison as I wrote that.

With talk of the Dolphins, and the NBA having no exciting headlines whatsoever, that can only mean a seamless segueway into Miami Cheerleaders! -Specifically Heat cheerleaders.

I am normally quite reserved in critiquing things such as team dancers...but my goodness gracious whatever they have in the drinking water in Miami has to be bottled and sold everywhere. The Heat might take the cake for "cheerleader the average guy would stare at even if a nuclear warhead was shooting straight towards him". Maybe slow news days in the NBA aren't so bad after all...