Oh man. Ish just got real with Gilbert Arenas and Laura Govan.

Something tells me he's not going to be inviting her to live with him and then kicking her out every weekend anymore. CBS Sports reports:

Orlando guard Gilbert Arenas was served with child support and custody papers as he left the court during halftime of the Magic’s game against Miami.
A process server stopped Arenas as he walked off the court during Thursday night’s loss to the Heat. The court documents, obtained by the Associated Press, were a California petition filed by Laura Mendoza Govan. She identified herself as his ex-girlfriend in the documents.
The petition seeks custody and child support for three children that Govan says Arenas fathered and has since “financially cut off.” She is also seeking support for another unborn child as well monthly support for the other children.
In the petition, she is seeking $109,000 in monthly support payments from Arenas and $1.3 million annually.

Why oh whyyy couldn't this have happened tomorrow, in Boston?! I'm really wondering what motivational speaker extraordinaire, head Coach Stan Van Gundy, had to say about this. The man has a natural grace about him, and a real way with words.

Yes! Just what we need! Another Real Housewives spin off... This time in Miami, with Scottie Pippen's wife!

Okay, so the whole Real Housewives thing is getting a little bit out of control... But I'll admit that I do on occasion watch... And enjoy myself probably a little too much, because everyone is so over the top and ridiculous. That trend is SURE to continue with the new cast.

Bravo revealed who the new cast will feature (from left to right):

Alexia Echevarria is the executive editor of Venue magazine, where she covers fashion and celebrity culture. She lives on Miami Beach with her husband Herman and has two sons from a previous marriage.

Marysol Patton (who supposedly pitched this show) is a Miami native who runs her own PR firm, the Patton Group. A divorcee, Patton is known for throwing bashes around town and loves to spend time with her mother, Elsa, who considers herself a "seer" and offers spiritual guidance people in town.

Larsa Pippen is married to basketball star Scottie Pippen and was known as the "Hottest NBA wife." A mother of four, Pippen boasts that she's successful at everything she does.

Cristy Rice was recently divorced from NBA star Glen Rice. The show will follow her single life as she juggles business (she owns a clothing store) and being a single mom. 

Lea Black has a 9-year-old son with her lawyer husband. A strong supporter of President Obama, the Texas-born Housewife is invested in her own charitable endeavors.

Adriana DeMoura-Sidi is fiery and flirtatious and ... newly engaged. Her personality lands her in trouble and the subject of much gossip among the ladies. (source)

Yes, yes, and yes! I love how Glen Rice is described as "NBA superstar." They forgot to throw in the part about that being most true in 1997 (not to throw salt on him. My man was quite the prolific scorer). And I can't wait to find out what constitutes the "everything" that Larsa Pippen is successful at.

Shaq and Hoopz: A looooove story

Shaq has taken Boston by storm, since signing with the Celtics over the summer... Does this mean that Shaq and Hoopz are going to be the new "it" couple around town? The Globe thinks so. They're set to run a story about the pair. Here are some snippets.

How they met... 

Alexander (Hoopz) had met O’Neal a few times, through the Hollywood scene, but hadn’t thought about him much, at least not in a romantic way. It wasn’t until last summer that she was reintroduced to him through a friend. Alexander was visiting her photographer pal, Christopher “Yella’’ Hawkins, in St. Louis, and saw an autographed picture of Shaq on his wall. She told Yella that she had met Shaq and thought he was cool. Yella texted O’Neal that Alexander had said hello. Almost immediately, O’Neal texted Yella back, asking if Hoopz had a boyfriend. Shaq was divorced at that point and was ready for a new relationship. Within a month, Alexander and O’Neal had lined up a dinner date in Las Vegas. She was in town for her birthday; he was there to tape his show, “Shaq Vs.’’ 

More excerpts after the jump

What they like to do in their spare time...

At home in Sudbury, they’re a pretty average couple. Well, they do have a live-in chef and other fancy services, but their lifestyle is surprisingly modest in some ways. They like to go to the Coach Grill down the street. They watch a lot of television.

“She makes me watch things I would never watch — like freakin’ ‘Spartacus,’ ’’ O’Neal said, referring to the Starz network show about Roman gladiators.

When they’re not watching TV, they’re playing games, mostly little ones they invent themselves, on the spot. O’Neal says that when they go to the movies, Alexander takes off running out the door. The first person to the car wins.

“I’m the first girl who can beat him at anything,’’ she says proudly.

You can read the rest here.
I admittedly used to watch lots of reality shows... I'm kind of tired of them now, but I am familiar with Hoopz from Flavor of Love. Out of all the awful women on the show, she was one of the least atrocious and most bearable contestants. I think they make a cute couple. Go Shaq-tus!

It's panic time in LA!

And not just because things aren't going well on the court for the Lakers, as some of my favorite bloggers at Reds Army so eloquently explained here and here. Trouble is now brewing off the court in Laker land as well.

Here's what I gather the scoop is, from my blog browsing: Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Kardashian Odom have scored their own reality show, as I previously talked about here. Apparently this news has not set well with Mrs. Vanessa Bryant (Kobe's wife):

Vanessa has wasted no time throwing around her weight to make life that much harder for Khloe. She's completely banned Kobe from making any cameo appearances on the show and has already managed to get E! cameras completely banned from the Lakers' locker room.

According to an insider:
"Vanessa and Khloe have been longtime rivals. Vanessa has been pitching her own reality series, with no success yet, and she hates that rival Khloe is impinging on what she considers to be her territory." (source)

Maybe that's why Kobe decided to take things in to his own hands on Sunday. He didn't want Lamar getting any of the glory... Teeheehe... But Probably not.

Laura Govan continues to act surprised that Gilbert Arenas is a loser... Even though he kicked her out of his house "every other weekend." FOR NINE YEARS!!

She also reveals that Arenas spends around 6,500 dollars a month to take care of his pet sharks. I mean come on... Is that really so unreasonable? I do that too. Am I supposed to be embarrassed or something?

The notes -- which appear to be her version of their life together -- reveal lots of details about their relationship. Arenas, 29, and Govan, 31, first met in 2002, when she was coaching basketball at a Golden State Warriors camp. In addition to their three young children (the fourth is due in June), they went through other pregnancies that ended in miscarriages. Along the way, there were lots of break-ups and make-ups.

Some of the meeting notes confirm what Arenas himself shared on his popular, now-defunct blog: "I've done kicked her out of my house almost every weekend, yet she's still here and she still believes in me," he wrote in 2008 in a post describing his marriage proposal to her. The notes tell an almost identical story: "The reason he proposed to her is that he put her out of the house every other weekend since they met and she stays with him, so something must be working."

There's a lot about how Arenas spent his money, based on her understanding of the household finances: "he states he makes 1.5 million per month," read the notes. Arenas lavished plenty on their Great Falls home, dropping $100,000 on landscaping, $5,000 a month for housekeepers, $675 "per car" washing, and $1 million for his backyard pool and grotto. His sharks are expensive: $5,000 a month to feed them and $1,500 for a keeper to drive from Columbus to take care of them. And yet they never had a nanny, Govan complains, according to the notes: "he would state 'you had them you watch them.' "

More after the jump

He was extravagant when it came to toys for the children -- ages 5, 4 and 2 -- buying a $60,000 train set and an $8,000 toy Mercedes-Benz electric car, and dropping between $30,000 and $40,000 during a shopping spree at FAO Schwartz. (Arenas also told this story on the blog, but didn't divulge the amount of money spent.)

The notes say Arenas gave Govan $8,000 a month for expenses; more than half went to pay the mortgage on a home she owns in California, and the rest went for groceries ($500-$600 a week from Peapod), doctors, classes and other expenses for the children. (source) 

Oy. If these notes were supposed to make me sympathize with her.... They don't. If you ask me, these two deserve each other. Sooo many problems here. First of all, to say that he kicked her out of his house every other weekend and she kept coming back so, "Something must be working," really doesn't sit well with me. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result... So it appears that they're both insane. Second of all, I personally don't think I'd have three kids with someone I wasn't married to, and who was kicking me out of their house every other weekend. Maybe that's just me. And lastly, he was halfway right about the nanny. He allegedly told her she had the kids, so she needed to watch them... But really, they had the kids- so both of them need to watch them. That does not necessarily mean a nanny. Believe it or not, millions of people around the world have three kids and find a way without a nanny. I think her problems are bigger than the fact that she has to watch her own kids. I don't mean to be insensitive, because this is a crappy, sad situation, and I'm sure it's hard for her... But come on. 

Kenny Anderson stomps all over my childhood dreams.

Remember these days?

Flashback to the 1997-98 NBA season: I was in 6th grade and OBSESSED with the lowly Celtics (they finished 26-36 that year). I didn't even fully grasp just how bad they were at that age. I obviously noticed that they lost a lot, often by blowout- but I had the idyllic mind of a youth, and I truly believed that they would come back the next game and be better, because I thought they had all of this great talent. These were the Rick Pitino days, so the roster was stock fall of Kentucky guys: Antoine Walker, Ron Mercer and Walter McCarty. These were also the days that Chauncey Billups and Bruce Bowen wore Green... And of course Kenny Anderson, too. I LOVED me some Kenny. He was my guy (though to be fair, the only person I didn't like on that team was Pervis Ellison... And there were some real winners on that roster: Greg Minor, Zan Tabak, Roy Rogers... Oy), he was the veteran point guard in town at a time when Chauncey Billups was a baby faced rookie fresh out of Colorado, so he seemed to me to be the more reliable player to have at the 1. Plus, every single time he was interviewed, he used the word "loquacious." So how could you not love him?

Anyway, Mr. Anderson is now retired and his post basketball financial woes have been well documented. But now, thanks to the American epidemic that is reality television, the fact that he's a huge cheater and a negligent father have been well documented as well. Wamp!!!

Kenny's ex-wife, Tami Roman (pictured above), is a member of the esteemed program "Basketball Wives." I don't watch this show because why would I? But I do read the blogs, so I'm well versed enough to share. So anyway, Tami and Kenny had two daughters together before getting divorced. Tami went in to the marriage with 70,000 dollars of her own money. There was no prenup, and she came out of the marriage broke. Kenny paid child support to Tami for a little while, and Tami admits that she misallocated those funds. Kenny then ceased paying child support, and Tami ended up completely broke. She sought government assistance to support her family, all while Kenny neglected his daughters and didn't see them for 10 years. Tami also revealed that Kenny was a serial cheater and had two children with other women during their marriage.  Sad!! (source) He now has SEVEN kids with five different women. The man is busy... But he may have at least started down the road of becoming better: he was reunited with his two daughters (on the show... so hopefully it wasn't just for TV). He also went back to school and successfully got his degree.