It’s curious. The thing I kept thinking about most of all after exiting Green Lantern was not how especially bad it was – although it is. Very. – or Ryan Reynold’s marvellous physique – although it is. Very. – but, instead, how uniformly ugly everything is. Whether it’s the poorly-coiffed, heavily-bronzed actors, the dark acid-washed visual effects or the dingy soap opera sequences that make Kenneth Branagh’s Thor look like Shakespeare in comparison. Everything here is ugly. In fact, the only thing here that isn’t particularly ugly is Ryan Reynolds himself, although perhaps I was distracted by his abdominal muscles that are visible through clothing. Perhaps.
You want a plot recap? I honestly couldn’t give you one outside of there being this guy called Hal Jordon who flies jets in the military and he gets “chosen” by “the ring” to become the newest member of an intergalactic police unit. They’ve clearly been playing around in other sectors of the universe if they’d thus far ignored this planet. We need all the help we can get! Then there’s some story about a former something something becoming an evil something something that plans to take over the universe? Oh, and Peter Sarsgaard running around doing his impersonation of a fey Elephant Man and Tim Robbins looking like an outcast of Willy Wonka’s chocolate factory doing their own version of Nancy Meyers’ What Women Want. I think it’s impressive I can recall that much.
Unfortunately, director Martin Campbell – a talented man responsible for two of the best James Bond flicks – seems to lack any idea of what is most interesting about his story. We barely get a chance to see any of the alien “green lantern corp” in detail, with only Geoffrey Rush’s fish-faced Tomar-Re (didn’t we already see this in Hellboy?) and Michael Clark Duncan as the actually-sorta-racist Kilowog. The location itself, the far away planet known as Om, is so horrifically lit that its images are barely visible. Maybe it’s just me, but when I go see a movie that purports to send viewers to planets in far off galaxies I’d rather they not look like a coal mine.
Back on Earth, meanwhile, we have to sit through a ridiculous sequence in which Uncle Hal must put his family at ease over a near-fatal plane disaster that – oh no! – had echoed his own father’s death via exploding air flying thingy. The love interest is played with vapid nothingness by Blake Lively who appears to have that unique acting talent of being able to cry without actually crying. My favourite bit in the entire film was when Lively’s Carol Ferris (what an ugly name) wipes a tear off of her cheek when there was, er, no tear to actually wipe away. That’s acting, folks! And then, of course, how about the night party scene where she shows up with her hair looking like a fly girl from In Living Color? Why the filmmakers decided to not give Angela Bassett her own super-power of enunciation is beyond me. She could talk that flying octopus of mud to death!
That someone as white bread as Ryan Reynolds gets to play a well-off, successful man whose inner virtues apparently far outweigh is outer rotten personality is probably the least offensive thing about Green Lantern. How about that ridiculous mid-credits coda that might as well began with “2 years on Green Lantern 2: Legend of the Mysterious Ga’zahoole or whatever”? I mean, there’s leaving the door open for a sequel and then there’s being so arrogant as to expect audiences will somehow show up for a sequel to an obvious dud of a movie just because you throw a yawnsome coda onto the end.
Oh sure, I admit to getting minor kicks out of seeing Ryan Reynold’s good looking mug and even better looking body plastered onto a big cinema screen, but a Google image search is equally forthcoming with the visual splendours. And, hey, at least that way he doesn’t look a ken doll with no genitals! I can’t particularly criticise the 3D since the wizards behind the scenes do well enough with what they were given for the post-conversion effort. Same goes for James Newton Howard whose score occasionally finds some rousing form amidst the cluttered scenery. The screenplay by Greg Berlanti, Michael Green, Marc Guggenheim and Michael Goldenberg occasionally comes out with an amusing line – I particularly enjoyed the one about having eyes in the back of your head – but their setup is rote and lacks rhythm. The ending is quite dunderheaded, really, when held up to the light of day for even moment. It’s all just a bit too shabby; not good enough in any legitimate way and not silly enough to truly embrace its ‘80s spirit. D+
This blogathon is an initiative of MIFF for their 60th anniversary year. I am one of six bloggers given the mission of seeing 60 films in 17 days and writing, reporting, reviewing and wrangling my way through the tiredness and hunger to bring the festival experience to your computer.
Cave of Forgotten Dreams Dir. Werner Herzog Running Time: 90mins
Has Werner Herzog become a quasi-hipster joke? A piss-take of himself that nobody can take seriously? It certainly feels that way after watching this 3D documentary, Cave of Forgotten Dreams, as he drearily walks around a cave spouting ridiculous dialogue like "is this cave the beginning of the modern soul?" in that recognisable accent of his. Perhaps Herzog thinks that by this stage of his career he can do whatever he likes and that if he just throws out some verbose narration and obvious references to Baywatch that people will love it?
Whatever the case my be, the subject matter - previously undiscovered, ancient rock drawings from France - feels like an important topic in a historic sense, but nothing Herzog does here, other than the occasionally spectacular 3D, can enliven the rather drowsy material. I admit to falling into several microsleeps during this film, which feels like a short documentary expanded into feature length to the detriment of the material. An abrasive musical score by Ernst Reijseger certainly doesn't help matters, either. A disappointing effort. C
Living on Love Alone Dir. Isabelle Czajka Running Time: 89mins
A lovingly lit French drama about a young woman, Anaïs Demoustier as Julie, whose inability to cope with the realities of inner city life sends her crashing towards a doomed romance with an out of work actor, Pio Marmaï as Ben. Living on Love Alone [D'amour et d'eau fraîche] is the debut feature for Isabelle Czajka and while it certainly looks impressive, thanks to sun-kissed cinematography by Crystel Fournier and the attractive leads, it suffers from the dreaded no-third-act syndrome. This is a phenomenon that plagues many Australian films, too, and it's disappointing that this brief film wasn't expanded somewhat and given a proper ending.
Demoustier is a stylish presence on screen, but it's Marmaï who really stands out as the film's strongest aspect. His charming presence makes Julie's decisions more believable than they otherwise would be. The screenplay, also by Czajka, has some interesting things to say about the laziness of youth and Julie's inability to comprehend what is required of her in the adult world. I appreciated Czajka's realistic take on young people and their attitudes towards sex, while a family dinner sequence is spot on, too, in the way family members interact. The closing scenes are involving, but end too abruptly. B-
I just want to show you what Pio Marmaï looks like, okay?
I think I'm in love lust.
Submarine Dir. Richard Ayoade Running Time: 97mins
"Ben Stiller Presents" says the poster. I presume because British humour does not travel well over the Atlantic Ocean (the Australian poster is Ben Still free) they felt the need to place Stiller's marketable name on there, but I can't imagine anybody going to see Richard Ayoade's debut feature Submarine based on his name and being anything but disappointed. That's not a mark against the film, but it was something that lingered on my mind after the credits. There is such a distinct voice to Submarine that dumbing it down to Ben Stiller's level feels silly.
At first coming off as Britain's answer to a Wes Anderson film, Submarine eventually morphs into something far darker and less pleasurable. Aided by a winning lead performance by Craig Roberts, the opening half of Richard Ayoade's debut feature is funny and charming, with brisk editing Chris Dickens and Nick Fenton and a wonderfully worked sense of time and place. However, the way Ayoade handled the shift in tone is troublesome. There's no nuance there and the abrupt change is distracting. Still, there are many pleasures to be found withing Submarine and I suspect it was garner a lot of fans with its refreshing take on American quirky indies. B
Kill List Dir. Ben Wheatley Running Time: 90mins
A film of three very different acts - domestic drama; action movie; horror - Ben Wheatley's Kill List is a rather confounding experience. The less you know about it the more intrigued you will be by it. I was curious as to where it was going, especially in those opening scenes where domestic non-bliss, although once it got there I found my interest waning. A third act about face, however, produces some truly visceral, terrifying cinema. Kill List is a curious film and probably demands more thought than I am able to give it right now. B-
The Innkeepers Dir. Ti West Running Time: 102mins
Ti West has, after two films, become one of the most interesting names in horror. Not content to make the same film like many others, West has followed up his terrifying 1980s homage The House of the Devil with this far more quaint and quieter scarer. Made with a very obvious wink at the audience, The Innkeepers succeeds due to the adorable charm of lead Sara Paxton and a gripping set of frights that work time and time again.
It still saddens me to know that The House of the Devil never got a release in country. I was able to see it a local horror film festival, but no subsequent DVD release has ever eventuated. Such a shame that people haven't been able to see it without illegal downloading because it's a doozy of a horror flick. West appears to have learnt a thing or two as well since there are no pacing issues and the third act is a considerable step in the right direction. I can only hope that local audiences get the chance to see The Innkeepers at some point as it works far better than many horror films that get a release. It's got a kindred spirit in Insidious, and I think if you mixed the two films together they would actually make a perfect horror movie. As it stands? B+
MIFF TALES: I somehow made it through five films yesterday despite battling the flu. I have popped so many pills and drank so many blackcurrent lemsips and yet it still hangs around. If you notice my writing in these entries tends to drift off or sound disconnected, it's probably because I don't feel like myself right now. This is getting very tiresome.
Not as tiresome, however, as the technical issues a near sold out crowd experienced at Cave of Forgotten Dreams. Not just one, but several! At first the film began to play with distorted sound. As @FeNi64 humourously put it on Twitter: "It sounded like Stephen Hawking on flat batteries." That this is an apt description is all very o_O you know? Still, the pandemonium that erupted through the Hoyts cinema was like nothing I had ever witness before. Patrons, a lot of them, were stomping their feet, booing, chanting... anything to get the attention of the festival staff so they would do something. I heard later in the evening from someone who was standing next to festival director Michelle Carey when she got the phone call and she was none too pleased.
Once they finally got the film going from the start again the crowd couldn't have expected what would come next: During the "postscript" sequence (the bit about albino crocodiles) the film just stopped. Another wave of moans and groans swept across the cinema as one employee valiantly tried to keep us all in check. Several people got up to leave. I didn't. However, once the film started up again and then froze AGAIN? I grabbed my stuff and left. Such is the burden of a person seeing 60 films at a festival.
Clint Eastwood is heading to the cinema and popping on those 3D glasses to watch his son, Scott Eastwood, as he gets set to star in The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 3D. Set for release next year, the film is the latest in the most peculiar of horror franchise - no two films are much alike in that cinematic canon - and from the plot description, this one sounds no different. The story, yet again everything that came after the 1974 original (although in a contemporary setting, apparently), and involves Leatherface's cousin (!) and a scheming town mayor leading a lynch mob on the Sawyer residence and then there's a carnival? I dunno, the entire plot sounds rather ridiculous, but I guess by the 7th film in a franchise you have got to start adding something a little bit different to the mix. And, you know, 3D chainsaws! VVRRRRMMMMM!
The cast, alongside this Eastwood fella are all pretty much no names to me, but I'll always be excited about a new Texas Chainsaw Massacre movie no matter what. It's a sickness, I tellsya!
Scott is a good looking man - much like his father was - so, umm, we've got that to look forward to! Although, I think Clint's going to have to face facts that he'll be watching his son get sliced and diced by Leatherface's favourite weapon since the men in these movies don't tend to make it out alive. Let's face it though, this news is only particularly interesting if you do indeed imagine Clint Eastwood, of all people, popping on down to his local cinema and paying to see The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 3D. Can you imagine? Oh gosh! Maybe he'll show up at the premiere in support! That'd be incredible and highly unlikely. I get a big ol' grin picturing Julia Roberts watching her niece, Emma, in Scream 4 and laughing wildly at the jokes. Tony Curtis though? Don't you just think he'd be stonefaced throughout all of his daughter Jamie Lee's horror pictures of the late 1970s and '80s? You know Janet Leigh was on board though!
What other respectable famous actors do you think have had to sit through slasher movies they otherwise wouldn't have bothered with simply because of family ties?
Two movies with similar make-ups being released within such close proximity is not a rare thing, as we all know. Earlier this year we saw David Traucki's shark-stalking-pretty-people-in-Queensland movie The Reef and later in the year we get shark-stalking-pretty-people-in-Queensland(-in-3D!) movie Bait. The latter is obviously going for the bigger, more mainstream horror thrills with its $25mil budget (a co-production with Singapore funnily enough) and populist 3D upgrade.
However, it's not The Reef and Bait (or, Bait 3D as it is occasionally known) that we're here to talk about. No, instead we're here to look at the trailers for Bait and Shark Night 3D. This American movie from director David R Ellis appears to be borrowing quite heavily from the model of the recent 3D Piranha remake, what with its liberal flashes of nudity and leaning towards a camp/comedic take. Still, two 3D shark movies bear comparing so that's what we're here to do!
First, the trailer for Bait.
While I love the start - the use of Queensland's tourism calling card of "Beautiful one day, perfect the next" is particularly inspired - and, hey, who am I to deny the sight of Xavier Samuel in lifesavers gear? After that however, I'm not quite sure what happens. While it's perfectly acceptable, something about it feels slightly off, don't you think? As if this trailer isn't entire complete. The pacing is all off, some of the footage used looks like it hasn't been properly colour-graded yet, the big close-up of the shark money shot is less than thrilling and the lack of dialogue feels worryingly like they're attempting to mask Sanctum levels of silliness.
Still, it looks far more promising than this:
Do you see what I mean with that Piranha reference? But, see, Piranha 3D had that wonderful cast being oh so very serious in the face of mutant piranhas (something Piranha 3DD seems to have forgotten about by casting nobodies and Z-grade celebrities like David Hasselhoff). Shark Night 3D has... well, the only name I recognise is Chris Zylka from Kaboom. Oh and that dude from Avatar, apparently. Ouch. That line about it being a salt water lake is particularly almost LOL worthy though so perhaps it belongs in the Asylum wheelhouse alongside Mega Piranha and Giant Shark vs Mega Octopus. Still, if they're going to keep trying to make 3D happen I'd much rather they utilise it on movies like these than, say, Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides, you know?
If I had Photoshop on the laptop I am using I would most definitely take a screengrab of my absolute tip-top favourite moment in the trailer. It's not of anything in the movie, but is instead the title card that appears at 1:08. Take a look, it's good for a laugh.
FROM THE PRODUCERS OF HOSTEL
AND ONE OF THE PRODUCERS OF THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE
The shit producer or the good producer? I guess we'll never know...
Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides Dir. Rob Marshall Year: 2011 Aus Rating: M Running Time: 128mins
These days a trilogy just isn’t complete without a fourth entry to screw up everybody’s DVD shelves of collectable boxsets. Just last month audiences were treated to Scream 4, a sequel that transcended it’s obvious grab-for-cash qualities by reuniting the original trilogy’s director, screenwriter and (surviving) stars. Horror franchises are rarely given such liberties with their fourth instalments as they usually spin off into silliness and irrelevance. Now even Hollywood blockbuster trilogies aren’t safe, even after Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull irked multiple generations of new and old fans alike. Movie series’ such as the Bourne titles and X-Men are getting mutant forth entries. Does nobody respect the sanctity of the movie trilogy?
First though we get Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides, the fourth instalment of the popular franchise that began on such a high of swash and buckle with The Curse of the Black Pearl and ended in excessive blather with At World’s End. Rob Marshall has picked up directing duties from Gore Verbinski, Keira Knightley and Orlando Bloom must still be stuck on that cliffside shack because they didn’t show up either, although Johnny Depp and Geoffrey Rush do return as Captain Jack Sparrow and Captain Barbossa respectively. Screenwriters Ted Elliott and Terry Rossio are still here for writing duties, but they’re clearly working on fumes as On Stranger Tides feels excessively tired and been-there-done-that in almost every regard. Apart from Penelope Cruz’s cleavage. That’s new and special. And in 3D too.
Oh, 3D. Granted, I haven’t seen Clash of the Titans, which is apparently one of the worst uses of 3D on record, but Marshall’s film marked the first time I actually sat there hating the use of this third dimensional technology. Even in films like The Green Hornet or Pixar’s work where the 3D has been used unnecessarily it was never actually flat out bad and never did I actively start to dislike the movie for using it. The tinted glasses do this film no favours whatsoever, making an already dark and interior film look decidedly darker. Unlike the James Cameron produced Sanctum, the caves of On Stranger Tides are rendered muddy and lifeless due to the 3D. There is no depth provided by the technology; in fact, I was able to take the glasses off for a good 40 minutes or so and found no issue at all.
These films are traditionally bright, colourful and vivid with their use of colour and there are stretches of On Stranger Tides that are no different with its lush, tropical greens, yellows and blues. They don’t need the extra technology to look more impressive – nature is the greatest CGI after all. It’s needless and actually disruptive to the film’s quality.
I guess I should just be thankful that this film’s running time is a much more friendly 128 minutes rather than the absurd 170 of At World’s End. Marshall certainly did well in keeping a fine eye on the editing suite, directing the shortest film of the franchise. Marshall, it must be said, as always, has delivered a film of fine technical merit – Penny Rose’s costume design is yet again the unheralded champion, can you believe she hasn’t received a single Oscar nomination for her efforts on this franchise? – but he cannot save the film from its unnecessary, rather ho-hum atmosphere.
The cast are merely going through the motions, although Rush eats so much scenery in his early scenes I was frightened he’s get indigestion! Cruz and Ian McShane make acceptable, if unremarkable, newcomers to the franchise, but Sam Clafin is no Orlando Bloom and you know something’s not right when you write that in a review.
Perhaps it’s just a case of not being able to recreate the initial sensation that came with seeing The Curse of the Black Pearl, but this franchise should just stop. Not even the trademark fight choreography or Cruz’s delicately-placed crucifix can save it. At least the endless parade of sequels that horror franchise’s get don’t cost the GDP of some small nations! The excitement, or even the vaguest of interests, has gone and it’s going to take more than a few fresh faces to get it back. C
The Green Hornet Dir. Michel Gondry Year: 2011 Aus Rating: M Running Time: 119mins
The Green Hornet is a movie that succeeds in spite of itself. Pitting two individuals with such distinguishable styles – co-writer/executive producer/star Seth Rogen and director Michel Gondry – together is almost always a recipe for disaster, and yet in Gondry’s outlandish, visually flash and snappy adaptation of the famous radio serials is a delightful hoot from word go. It is alive and marches to its own imaginative beat, which is something I appreciate more than others it seems.
Seth Rogen, co-writing with Evan Goldberg, stars as Britt Reid, the son of a recently deceased newspaper tycoon played by Tom Wilkinson. Along with his father’s mechanic Kato (pop star and Curse of the Golden Flower actor Jay Chou), the two form a crime-fighting duo whose mission – I think – is to pretend to be villains in order to get closer the man responsible for all the violence in Los Angeles. That’d be Christoph Waltz as the ridiculously named Chudnofsky. Cameron Diaz plays Lenore, but her role is nearly non-existence, which is a shame because Gondry has proven to quite adept at giving perky blondes wonderful roles (hello Kirsten Dunst in Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind).
It’s basically all one big excuse for Rogen to wear dapper (and, for this viewer, irresistibly sexy) three-piece suits while explosions detonate around him and every second evil henchman dies by having something fall on them, whether it be a car, a bulldozer, a steamroller… The plot is more-or-less a series of exposition and bromance bonding that act as nothing more than flimsy bridges between escalating loco action sequences, but what loco action sequences they are! And that exposition? Filled with ballsy zingers recited at such rapid fire pace by (mostly) Rogen, the kind that you would expect from him and Goldberg (they also co-wrote Superbad and Pineapple Express). Scenes between Rogen and Chou have a zest that isn’t usually found in action blockbusters of this sort. The Iron Man films tried, but I much prefer Rogen’s brand of the similar playboy/frat house humour.
The action really is quite something. I don’t recall having ever been so particularly taken by a film’s stunt work – shame on me, really – but the work by the stunt crew here appears phenomenal. Sure, a lot of the fight sequences involve crotch-kicks and head slams, but Gondry has filmed the action scenes so as to allow an audience to properly see them all. That it physically looks as if a real person is having their nuts smashed by a villain is not to be underestimated. A seemingly never-ending parade of people smashing through windows, slamming into walls and doors, falling out of high places, punching, slashing and stomping mixed with an assortment of weaponry, inventive and traditional, make the escalating madcap violence hilariously numbing. Why is a man getting kicked in the testicles so much funnier here than anywhere else I’ve seen it lately? I’m not quite sure, but I appreciated the film’s bravura and the way it embraced its crazed style. That Gondry was able to stick to Rogen and Goldberg's rhythm and still have some of his style come through is a bit of a minor miracle. Oh sure, there are no scenes made of paper mache, but compare The Green Hornet to anything by, for instance, Stephen Sommers or Rob Cohen and you can see an instant difference. Gondry is no director for hire and he has supplanted enough style to make the movie stand out without going overboard and alienating. There’s a very distinct Dick Tracy meets The Shadow circa 2011 vibe there that I clicked with. It embraces its cartoon heritage, but does so in a way that isn’t dopily obvious (hello Hulk) or frustratingly literal (that’d be you Sin City). The 3D is mostly ineffectual, although one thing Gondry makes work with the technology is split screen, which produces a nifty floating effect as his cameras follow a series of various characters during a sequence that makes TimeCode quadrant screen look quaint.
The reactions of this film have been amongst some of the most fascinating in recent memory. For every critic or two giving it a one-star savaging there is another hailing it to the heavens. They say comedy is subjective, and so too are big budget, wisecracking, visual effect extravaganza blockbusters. In a time when so many films of The Green Hornet’s ilk are trying desperately to be “gritty”, “realistic” and “mature”, played so seriously that you could cut glass with the straight angels of the pretty lead cast-member’s jaw, it’s hard to imagine myself having more fun in a movie of this kind. What Gondry’s film has, and has in spades, is a very specific dedication to pure and utter anarchy. There aren’t just times when The Green Hornet goes off the rails – it goes off the rails, rockets off into the stratosphere, loops around while juggling five missiles at once and then lands perfectly back on the tracks; it should crash and burn, but ultimately becomes something I embraced in all of its wow-pop-zing glory. A-
Just like I've done in 2009 and 2010 prior, I'm here to have a look at the Australian films that audiences will hopefully get the chance to set their eyes upon in 2011.
As always, local distribution can leave many films in limbo.
As always, local productions can tend to be a lot longer.
As always, local films will go direct-to-DVD, incredibly limited, festival only or just never get released. You'll hear of a lot of these titles next year, too.
As always, local productions that I never knew existed will suddenly appear. I mean, can you believe in last year's roundup I didn't even include Joffa: The Movie? Say it ain't so!
As always, take this list with a grain of salt. Not all of these films will be 2011 releases - whether that be because they're not finished or because the distribution just won't occur until then. There are many films on this list that were on here last year, too, and they'll appear next year as well I am sure since, as I've made it quite clear, Australian distribution can be a tricky thing to work your head around. For every Bran Nue Dae that seems to get funded, made and released all quite easily, there is a title like Ektopos that I hear about for years and was seemingly made and yet has vanished into thin air.
Some titles, such as Mark Lewis' Cane Toads: The Conquest, Bill Bennett's Uninhabited, Josh Reed's Primal, Daley Pearson and Luke Tierney's $quid: The Movie and James Rabbitts' The Clinic that I've all mentioned in previous years will, I doubt, ever get a theatrical release outside of the film festivals they have already appeared at before, at one point or another, appearing on DVD. It's a shame, but with such a large roster of local films (and it is large when you consider that it equals at least one every two weeks) it is inevitable. And then there's product like In Her Skin, which is sad and will probably never be seen due to legal wranglings. I'm not even going to mention Wolf Creek 2, The Sapphires, Lore or A Few Best Men, which have no hope of coming out this year.
Shall we take a look at what 2011 has in store for us?
A Heartbeat Away (dir. Gale Edwards) A young musician must become the leader of marching bad after his father dies four weeks out from a big competition. I can almost see the quotes on the movie poster: "Inspiring", "Joyful hymn to life!" (er, let's not compare to Slumdog Millionaire, okay?) and so forth. It stars Sebastian Gregory, Isabel Lucas, William Zappa, Kerry Walker, Colin Friels and Roy Billing, plus it's bound to have some nice musical sequences (well, we should hope so, anyway), so maybe I should put my cynicism aside. A Heartbeat Away on IMDb
Bait in 3D (dir. Russell Mulcahy & Kimble Rendall The first of two killer shark movies on this list, although this one could very possibly be moved to 2012. It has a cast of full of recognisable names and faces like Xavier Samuel (Twilight: Eclipse), Sharni Vinson (Step Up 3D), Lincoln Lewis (Tomorrow When the War Began), Julian McMahon (Nip/Tuck), Fiona Tonkin (Tomorrow When the War Began), Martin Sacks (Underbelly: The Golden Mile) and Dan Wyllie (Animal Kingdom) as well as a pack of pesky sharks in all their 3D glory after a tsunami traps a group of Gold Coast tourists in a shopping mall. It sounds like a hoot! The film's Facebook page has been great at keeping up with behind-the-scenes footage, images and TV appearances. I personally like this video I found that includes storyboards and test footage, which gives us a good look at what we can expect. Bait on IMDb Bait on Facebook
Big Mamma's Boy (dir. Franco di Chiera) I had completely forgotten about this title, but then when my eyes glanced upon it I remembered: "THIS IS THE HOLLY VALANCE MOVIE!!!" The poster - which I'm not even going to show you it's that awful - looks so blatantly direct-to-DVD and yet, bless 'em for trying, it boldly states "IN CINEMAS 2011". Good luck with that.
**Edit: Turns out this is a legitimate movie getting a legitimate release through a legitimate distributor and legitimate people have legitimately seen it. Okay then. Apparently set for release in June.** Big Mamma's Boy on IMDb Big Mamma's Boy on Facebook Big Mamma's Boy on Twitter
Blame (dir. Michael Henry) Was supposed to get a release last year, but was scrapped until - as its Facebook page says - early 2011. Stars Kestie Morassi, Sophie Lowe, Damian de Montemas, Simon Stone and Mark Leonard Winter. Got polite notices at Melbourne and Chicago film festivals last year. Blame on IMDb Blame on Facebook
Burning Man (dir. Jonathan Teplitzky) Just a hunch, but I have a feeling that Jonathan Teplitzky's first film since the ace Gettin' Square in 2003 could be a real king hit of a movie. It certainly helps with the cast that he has amassed; Matthew Goode, Rachel Griffiths, Bojana Novakovic, Essie Davis, Kerry Fox, Anthony Hayes, Kate Beahan and Gia Carides. The buzz has been building before the film's Sundance and Sydney Film Festival screenings for this "reckless, sexy, provocative and ultimately tear-jerking father and son tale." Australia/UK co-production. Burning Man on IMDb
Caught Inside (dir. Adam Blaiklock) I went searching for titles and I came across this one, which I'd forgot about since it won the IF "Independent Spirit" award. So, welcome to the list, Caught Inside. You star Ben Oxenbould, Harry Cook (who I liked in Accidents Happen last year), Peter Phelps and Leeanna Walsman. Caught Inside on IMDb Caught Inside on Facebook Caught Insideofficial website
The Cup (dir. Simon Wincer) "From the director of Free Willy" reads the poster. Whether "From the director Harlequin" was considered is unknown to me. Either way, Simon Wincer's The Cup is surely aiming to be one of the big box office hitters of 2011. With a cast that includes Stephen Curry as the famed jockey Damien Oliver, plus Daniel McPherson, Brendan Gleeson, Tom Burlinson (who hasn't acted in 15 years), Alice Parkinson, Kate Bell, Bill Hunter, Martin Sacks, Jodi Gordon, Rodger Corser and Shaun Micallef. That's quite an enviable ensemble, you've got to admit. I imagine this film will come our way around October when the Spring Racing Carnival amps up, peaking on the first Tuesday of November with the Melbourne Cup.
Sports movies are a genre that I've always felt Australian cinema has underestimated, so it's good to see one like this. Let's hope it's good and that audiences go. The Cup on IMDb
The Dark Lurking (dir. Gregory Connors) The be perfectly honest with you, this Doom meets Alien (ish) local sci-fi horror flick looks dreadful. It was filmed in Queensland, but looks like a basement anywhere. It has already received an American DVD release and, I suppose, will get one down here too at some point. The Dark Lurking on IMDb The Dark Lurking on Facebook The Dark Lurking on Twitter The Dark Lurkingofficial website
Dreamland (dir. Ivan Sen) I am already a massive fan of Ivan Sen's experimental soundscape art film and I so hope it receives a release of some kind. And a cinematic release at that since it is a film that needs to be experienced on a big screen. I read that it's screening in Melbourne in February as a part of a festival, but I can't remember what it was exactly. Gah! The film's producer mentioned at MIFF that Sen had another film all ready to go, but there's nothing out there about it so we'll leave that one for now. Dreamland on IMDb Dreamland on Facebook Dreamland on Twitter Dreamlandofficial website
Eliminated! (dir. Dee McLachlan) Local "terrorist comedy" from the director of buzzy 2007 arthouse hit The Jammed. There are stunts and explosions and action and who knows what else. I hope to see it pop up at some point this year since it filmed in 2009. Eliminated! on IMDb Eliminated! on Twitter
Exit (dir. Marek Polgar) I confess to not knowing much about Exit other than it exists and that it's written by awesome Melbourne filmy type @Martyn Pedler. Exit on Facebook Exitofficial website
The Eye of the Storm (dir. Fred Schepisi) A local film from Fred Schepisi, starring Geoffrey Rush, Judy Davis and Charlotte Rampling. I signed up long ago and I reckon this could be a solid mid-range hit if older audiences catch on to it. It's being distributed by Transmission Films so I have no doubt they'll work their magic with it. The Eye of the Storm on IMDb
Griff the Invisible (dir. Leon Ford) Definitely one that we've been anticipating around these parts is this local sorta-noir, sorta-romcom, sorta-superhero movie starring Ryan Kwanten, Maeve Dermody and ASHKA!!!! ...I mean Heather Mitchell. If we have to have yet more superhero movies then why not have them a little bit more niche and unconventional, yeah? Griff will be screening at Berlinale and has already had some special screenings here in Australia so there's a few reactions out there. It's set for a March release, so not long to wait yet. Griff the Invisible on IMDb Griff the Invisible on Facebook Griff the Invisible on Twitter Griff the Invisibleofficial website
Hail (dir. Amiel Courtin-Wilson) A blending of documentary and drama from the director of Bastardy. There was an open call casting session for this a while back I remember hearing about. It will screen at this year's Bigpond Adelaide Film Festival. Hail on IMDb Hail on Facebook Hailofficial website
Happy Feet 2 in 3D (dir. George Miller) The sequel to George Miller's tapdancing penguin Oscar winner from 2006 will arrive in November 2011 to the delight of children and the chagrin of anyone who hates the thought of tapdancing penguins. I enjoyed the first one a lot, so I'm looking forward to it. It appears most of the cast is returning, although Brittany Murphy will sadly not. Sofia Vergara is on the cast list too, which means more Spanish penguins! ...okay then. Matt Damon and Brad Pitt are also on the list of voice talent so you can expect to hear a lot about Happy Feet 2. Happy Feet 2 in 3D on IMDb
Here I Am (dir. Beck Cole) One of the titles I am most intrigued is this film about an imprisoned Aboriginal woman trying to deal with life on the outside. It sounds tough, but so was Samson & Delilah, ya know? Speaking of that breakthrough film from 2009, Beck Cole was the director of Making Samson & Delilah, the behind the scenes documentary that screened at MIFF and on ABC Television. It's produced by the same producer (Kath Shelper) and cinematography is by Warwick Thornton. Could be a big breakthrough for both Cole and her star, Shai Pittman. Will premiere at BAFF. Here I Am on IMDb
The Hunter (dir. Daniel Nettheim) Tasmanian Tigers return in this film starring Willem Dafoe, Sam Neill, Frances O'Connor, Sullivan Stapleton, Jacek Koman, Dan Wyllie and young Morgana Davies from The Tree. One of the cutest moments from the recently AFI Awards was seeing Morgana cheering wildly from the audience when Dafoe walked out on stage to present an award. The Hunter on IMDb The Hunterofficial website
Jucy (dir. Louise Alston) I was a big fan of Alston's last film, All My Friends are Leaving Brisbane, and her next is another comedy. Screened at Toronto International Film Festival and should pop up at some point down here in 2011. Considering Brisbane was so good and could barely mustre any release of any kind outside of its home state makes me, shall we say, cautious that Jucy will receive anything other than a similar fate, which is a bit sad. The people who've seen it seem to really like it, so... Jucy on IMDb Jucy on Facebook Jucy on Twitter Jucyofficial website
The Killer Elite (dir. Gary McKendry) The Australian media have already claimed it as "our" movie, so why not throw it on here? Besides all the big Hollywood names (Robert DeNiro, Jason Statham, Clive Owen, Jason Statham's Abs) there is a whole swag of talented local actors like Ben Mendselsohn, Yvonne Strahovski, Michael Dorman, Firass Dirani, Lachy Hulme and Grant Bowler. The Killer Elite on IMDb
Life in Movement (dir. Sophie Hyde & Bryan Mason) Documentary about dancer/choreographer Tanja Liedtke. Life in Movement on IMDb Life in Movement on Facebook
Little Johnny: The Movie (dir. Ralph Moser) Oh my lord, what is this? "You've Heard The Jokes - Now Meet the Legend" - I am officially terrified. Will screen on - wait for it - April Fools Day at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival before... some other sort of release? Who knows. Wow. Little Johnny: The Movie on IMDb Little Johnny: The Movie on Facebook Little Johnny: The Movie on Twitter Little Johnny: The Movieofficial website
Mad Bastards (dir. Brendan Fletcher) Another film - alongside Here I Am - that looks at the indigenous cultures of Australia. This time it sounds a bit more upbeat with music and comedy thrown into the tale of a "an urban street warrior who meets his match in the form of a local police officer." Mad Bastards on IMDb Mad Bastards on Facebook Mad Bastardsofficial website
Mei Mei (dir. Pauline Chan) I hadn't heard of this film, but it stars Guy Pearce, Claudia Karvan, Rhys Muldoon and Lincoln Lewis so I better mention it. Mei Mei on IMDb
Moonlite (dir. Rohan Spong) I recall Rohan Spong's acclaimed documentary, T is for Teacher, as I read about Moonlite and can't quite see how he got from there to here (apart from the queer element), but isn't that the magic of cinema? This - and I quote - "graphic noval style depiction of the life and times of queer Australian bushranger Captain Moonlite" was filmed in green screen and stars various names like Tasma Walton, Ian Roberts and Barry Crocker. Even if it fails, it certainly sounds like it will be a fascinating failure. This isn't exactly the usual type of Australian film, yeah? Moonlite on IMDb Moonlite on Facebook Moonlite on Twitter Moonliteofficial website
Mrs Carey's Concert (dir. Bob Connolly & Sophie Raymond) Music documentary, screening at BAFF, that's noteworthy for Bob Connolly's name. He of Oscar-nominated First Contact as well as Rats in the Ranks and Facing the Music. Tells the story of Mrs Carey, a school music director who puts on a concert at the Sydney Opera House with all 1200 of her school's students. Mrs Carey's Concert on IMDb Mrs Carey's Concert on Facebook Mrs Carey's Concertofficial website
Needle (dir. John V Soto) To put it kindly, I was not a fan of Soto's last stab (oh haha!) at horror, Crush. His latest - this time going it alone - is Needle, which has been creating a bit of buzz on the horror sites. Not really enough to get me excited, but I'm intrigued by its cast that includes recent AFI winner for Animal Kingdom, Ben Mendelsohn, as well as Jessica Marais, Michael Dorman, Luke Carroll and John Jarratt. Needle on IMDb Needle on Facebook Needle on Twitter Needleofficial website
Oranges and Sunshine (dir. Jim Loach) A film by Ken Loach's son, this UK/Australia co-production stars Emily Watson, David Wenham, Hugo Weaving and Tara Morice. It sounds a bit like Romulus My Father, as it deals with immigrants, but that's probably where the similarities end. It was filmed in Adelaide and will be released in April. Hey, if it's marketed as British then maybe people will go and see it! Below is a video of Loach and Watson at the Rome Film Festival. Oranges and Sunshine on IMDb Oranges and Sunshine on Facebook
Red Dog (dir. Kriv Stenders) An adaptation of Louis de Bernieres' best-selling novel that I can see being quite successful is done well. Kriv Stenders is a director whose films I can be very hot or very cold on (Lucky Country, Illustrated Family Doctor for examples, respectively), and I hope he does good work here. Acting in it will be Josh Lucas, Rachael Taylor, Keisha Castle-Hughes, Luke Ford and Noah Taylor (where has he been lately?) People love movies about animals, don't they?
I dare you to watch the "screen test" of Koko, the dog hired to play "Red Dog". It's great! Trust me! You'll be "awww"-ing all the way through. Red Dog at IMDb Red Dogofficial website
The Reef (dir. Andrew Traucki) I feel like I have been talking about this movie for years. And that's because I have! It's finally set for a March release (conveniently at the end of summer? hmmm) and I can't wait. As much fun as I expect Bait to be, my experience with Andrew Traucki is that he makes bonza fright flicks. If you've never seen it I suggest you get your hands on a copy of Black Water immediately. The Reef is already out in some countries, including on DVD, so keep a look out. The Reef on IMDb The Reef on Facebook The Reef on Twitter
Sanctum (dir. Alister Grierson) A co-production between USA and Australia, "James Cameron's Sanctum" (as the poster calls it) is everything you'd expect a James Cameron movie to be, except not directed by James Cameron or made on a James Cameron budget. There's water (a lot of it, it's set in underwater caves), there's 3D and there's action. Some people weren't too impressed by the trailer, mostly because the dialogue and the acting looks quite direct-to-DVD, but I think it looks quite good if nothing else. I'm not sure how Alister Grierson got the job - his last movie was Kokoda - but it's hardly James Cameron's mission to hire dodgy directors to make his movies, is it? Stars Richard Roxburgh, Rhys Wakefield, Ioan Gruffudd, Dan Wyllie and Alice Parkinson. Sanctum on IMDb Sanctum on Facebook Sanctumofficial website
Say Nothing (dir. Keiren Darcy-Smith) Say Nothing is the feature directorial debut for Keiren Darcy-Smith (so good in films The Square and September amongst others) and stars Joel Edgerton and Teresa Palmer. It's the story about four friends who go on a holiday to South East Asia and only three return. It's a thriller and started filming in December. Almost certainly a 2011 release, but if I didn't include it how could I include this image? Say Nothing on IMDb Say Nothing on on Facebook Say Nothingon Twitter
Shut Up Little Man! An Audio Misadventure (dir. Matthew Bate) A documentary about "two Gen X slackers" who record a neighbour's quarrel that ends up going viral on the internet. Could be fascinating. Screens at BAFF. Shut Up Little Man! An Audio Misadventure on IMDb Shut Up Little Man! An Audio Misadventure on Facebook Shut Up Little Man! An Audio Misadventureofficial website
Snowtown (dir. Justin Kurzel) Feature film dramatisation of the events that surrounded the famous "bodies in the barrels" serial killings in South Australia between 1992 and 1999. Could be something really special, although the unknown director and unknown actors suggest it will be minor is other aspects. The teaser looked like a bizarre and disturbing, but we'll wait and see. Will be one of the big premiers at BAFF since it's the story's home state. Will be released in May. Snowtown on IMDb Snowtown on Facebook
The Tall Man (dir. Tony Krawitz) The director of JewBoy directs this documentary about the death in custody of Cameron Doomadgee at Palm Island.
The Tunnel (dir. Carlos Ledesma) a groundbreaking production in that they raised their budget by asking regular, ordinary folks to purchase frames of film for $1 (or, a second of film for $50 and so forth), which is a very nifty idea. Furthermore, The Tunnel will skip theatrical release and DVD and will, instead, premiere on torrent services. It's been one of the most fascinating productions to follow and I look forward to the movie, especially since the trailer makes it look like it's got its wearing its Blair Witch Project / [rec] inspirations with pride.
Wasted on the Young One of the earliest Australian releases of the year will be the tough teen drama that screened to high praise and high scorn at festivals such as Toronto and Sydney. I'm definitely intrigued by it, that's for sure, and it will be interesting to see how Paramount markets it. Wasted on the Young on IMDb Wasted on the Young on Facebook Wasted on the Youngofficial website
Wrath (dir. Jonathan Neil Dixon) Another one I was completely unaware of, but it seems to have been made. Appears to be a thriller set in the outback. 'cause, ya know, there aren't enough of those. They say "mid 2011". I see Prey fortunes for this one, unfortunately. Wrath on IMDb Wrath on Facebook Wrathofficial website
X (dir. Jon Hewitt) The director of Acolytes and Bloodlust is always bound to get people talking, and with his latest film being touted as a chase thriller about call girls you can bet X will be no different. I love the poster, although the NSFW teaser trailer left a bad taste in my mouth (oh, gross - can we forget I typed that?) Due to its subject matter it will be another title that will definitely be worth following. X on IMDb
If you have any other titles that you know about - if you're involved in any yourself and can confirm release dates/timelines, too - then feel free to speak up in the comments section.
Piranha 3D Dir. Alexandre Aja Year: 2010 Aus Rating: MA15+ Running Time: 88mins
Sometimes a title can tell you everything you need to know. Such is the case with Piranha 3D, a film in which prehistoric piranhas fly out of the screen at your face. If that sounds like a good time at the movies then run to the cinema immediately. Filled with recognisable faces, packed with excessive blood and gore and jokes as corny as they are hilarious, Piranha 3D is, if nothing else, the most honest and unpretentious piece of filmmaking of 2010.
And for what it's worth, the recent "Funny or Die" sketch that aimed to place this movie amongst the year's Oscar contenders is worthwhile for one category: Best Make-Up. It will never happen, but I am quite positive that the make-up work here will be far superior to any of the old age make-up or fat man make-up that the Oscar's branch will ultimately bestow a nomination upon. The bit where a girl's hair gets caught in a boat propellor that proceeds to then rip her entire face off is a better example of cinema make-up than The Wolfman, Alice in Wonderland or whatever other terrible movie will fill the space.
Also, this new "Funny or Die" video is hilarious! "Ving Rhames can send video through time", indeed.
I generally don't have a problem with 3D. Truly. I think I'm smart enough to know when I'm being suckered in (Clash of the Titans, which I did not see) and when I'm not (Avatar, duh). As long as I am not being forced to spend $20 on a 3D ticket to a movie I don't want to see - please note, I saw Step Up 3D voluntarily and would gladly pay to see Piranha 3D if necessary - then who am I to deny Hollywood the right to make money off of suckers? In fact, the most egregious case of feeling ripped off that I have had was Toy Story 3. That movie did not need to be seen in 3D, sorry Pixar. After Up and Toy Story 3 I think I will be doing my very best to see your movies in 2D.
Nevertheless, 3D is indeed everywhere and if people are going to see 3D movies then people are going to see 3D movies and no amount of Roger Eberts or Alice in Wonderlands can change that. However, even I admit that I get a little deflated every time I see "in 3D!" tacked on to the end of a movie trailer (hello there Green Hornet) and movie posters. Take a look at these two posters for upcoming horror movies and tell me they wouldn't be improved by removing that ugly text proclaiming them as being in 3D? Just try and tell me!
The first is the poster for Wes Craven's My Soul to Take. Now I actually really like this poster and I think the central visual motif is really captivating and pleasing to the (horror-watching) eye. It reminds me of that John Cusack horror movie that I can't remember the title of, but the poster was of a hand print and the fingers were made of ghostly figures. Remember the artwork, not the title, well done to me!
Of course, the tagline mentions Wes Craven's A Nightmare on Elm Street (a film that has a similar plot to My Soul to Take from the sounds of it) and Last House of the Left (yet curiously leaves off Scream?) yet still makes it seem like the only reason this film was made was because it's "in 3D". This movie was not made in 3D it was made in "2D" (what a stupid term how about "projected in 2D"?) and converted in post-production. So we'll be skipping the 3D version of this film, then, yes?
The next movie poster is for The Gate, which is another horror title that I was unaware was receiving the remake treatment, and while I like the poster I think that's only really because it is a near exact replica of the poster for the 1987 original. The 1987 original that starred a young Stephen Dorff, by the way.
In the grand scheme of things remaking The Gate makes more sense than many other remakes that have come down the pipe in the last decade. Will people even know this is a remake? I'm not sure, so it's hardly like they're remaking a classic of the ages. It's the only reasoning I can come up for keeping the original poster almost inch for inch. Of course, the hand "comin' atcha" (like Cleopatra) would be enough to allude to the 3D nature of the film, but no they had to go and plaster a grotesque "OPENING IN 3D" banner over it like a beauty queen's sash.
Won't somebody think of the people who love movie posters?!?
It’s curious. The thing I kept thinking about most of all after exiting Green Lantern was not how especially bad it was – although it is. Very. – or Ryan Reynold’s marvellous physique – although it is. Very. – but, instead, how uniformly ugly everything is. Whether it’s the poorly-coiffed, heavily-bronzed actors, the dark acid-washed visual effects or the dingy soap opera sequences that make Kenneth Branagh’s Thor look like Shakespeare in comparison. Everything here is ugly. In fact, the only thing here that isn’t particularly ugly is Ryan Reynolds himself, although perhaps I was distracted by his abdominal muscles that are visible through clothing. Perhaps.
