An Eastwood Chainsaw Massacre

Clint Eastwood is heading to the cinema and popping on those 3D glasses to watch his son, Scott Eastwood, as he gets set to star in The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 3D. Set for release next year, the film is the latest in the most peculiar of horror franchise - no two films are much alike in that cinematic canon - and from the plot description, this one sounds no different. The story, yet again everything that came after the 1974 original (although in a contemporary setting, apparently), and involves Leatherface's cousin (!) and a scheming town mayor leading a lynch mob on the Sawyer residence and then there's a carnival? I dunno, the entire plot sounds rather ridiculous, but I guess by the 7th film in a franchise you have got to start adding something a little bit different to the mix. And, you know, 3D chainsaws! VVRRRRMMMMM!

The cast, alongside this Eastwood fella are all pretty much no names to me, but I'll always be excited about a new Texas Chainsaw Massacre movie no matter what. It's a sickness, I tellsya!

Scott is a good looking man - much like his father was - so, umm, we've got that to look forward to! Although, I think Clint's going to have to face facts that he'll be watching his son get sliced and diced by Leatherface's favourite weapon since the men in these movies don't tend to make it out alive. Let's face it though, this news is only particularly interesting if you do indeed imagine Clint Eastwood, of all people, popping on down to his local cinema and paying to see The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 3D. Can you imagine? Oh gosh! Maybe he'll show up at the premiere in support! That'd be incredible and highly unlikely. I get a big ol' grin picturing Julia Roberts watching her niece, Emma, in Scream 4 and laughing wildly at the jokes. Tony Curtis though? Don't you just think he'd be stonefaced throughout all of his daughter Jamie Lee's horror pictures of the late 1970s and '80s? You know Janet Leigh was on board though!

What other respectable famous actors do you think have had to sit through slasher movies they otherwise wouldn't have bothered with simply because of family ties?

Dine with Leatherface, Go Nightclubbing with David Lynch

Now here's an unlikely night out to savour. Were you aware that the house originally used to film Tobe Hooper's mad horror masterpiece The Texas Chain Saw Massacre is actually used these days as a restaurant? Sitting in the town of Kingsland, Texas, an hour out of Austin, the Junction House (bar and grill?) features a downstairs restaurant and an upstairs bar that even serves chili fries. It's all set in the atmospheric surrounds of Leatherface's abode; there's the chicken bone room, the staircase and the dining hall where Marilyn Burns was famously and sadistically tortured by a family of lunatics and old goons bearing straws (to drink her blood!)

I'd heard about this place, but never really investigated it. Thanks now to AV Club though you can take a virtual tour of the Junction House in all of its refurbished glory. I'd order the prime ribs (served with side of baked potatoes and house vegetables) if I were there, but on Tuesday they have "all you can eat fried chicken", which - let's face it - is hard to pass up! Wednesday's offer of "all you can eat catfish" doesn't sound quite as appetising.


Austin: The Texas Chain Saw... family restaurant?
Put on your freshest mask of skin with a good ol' smearing of rouge and lipstick and chow down!

When you're done digesting whatever the chef prepares you can jump onto your waiting jet plane and travel to Paris where David Lynch is apparently setting up shop with a nightclub based upon 'Club Silencio' as seen in Mulholland Drive. The description of the club, open only to select clientele, sounds nothing like the venue from the film - the one that sees Spanish singers miming to pre-recorded music as visitors convulse in their seats, blue boxes of mystical origin appear willy nilly and creepy old ladies with hyper blue rinses sit in the stalls whispering "silencio" over and over - but it's fun to imagine it anyway.

The nightclub, located at 142, Rue Monmartre, isn’t set to officially open until September. The club will house a bar, concert hall, art library and in-house movie theater. But don’t expect to sip champagne with Lynch and friends during your next trip to France — access to the très private Silencio will be reserved for members only from 6 pm until midnight, with events such as concerts, movie premieres and literary conferences. Then, after midnight, Silencio will make noise as a private club open to a non-member, yet still elite, Parisian crowd.

Oh, that David Lynch! So wacky! What will he think of next? A movie? Doubtful... You know what though, if you're a member of the "elite" that is allowed into Lynch's Club Silencio then you probably can afford that private jet from Texas to Paris, so if you're rich, hoity toity and like a steak just as much as you like discussing art then you really can make a day of this movie-themed adventure. Just don't try and recreate Hilary Swank's final scenes in Amelia on your way there. The gazelles were not so free any more after that!

Rubbing the Wrong Way

Quentin Dupieux's telekinetic car tyre movie Rubber was one title I was very eager to see after last year's MIFF. Unfortunately I missed it due to bad scheduling (on behalf of the festival and myself), but having just watched it thanks to Madmen's DVD release I can comfortably say I didn't miss a thing. In fact, after 40 minutes of watching it I went to Twitter and labelled it "unwatchable" before going to bed.

Returning to it today and it was pretty much just as bad as it was last night. It holds no water at all, in one ear out the other, and amounts to noting more than an overly extended Tropfest winner. It probably would have made a very entertaining Tropfest winner, too, but as a feature film it's 80 minutes of blah.


"In the Steven Spielberg movie E.T. why is the alien brown? No reason.
In Love Story why do the two characters fall madly in love with each other? No reason.
In Oliver Stone's JFK why is the President suddenly assassinated by some stranger? No reason.
In The Excellent Chain Saw Massacre [sic] by Tobe Hooper why don't we ever see the characters go to the bathroom? Or wash their hands like people do in real life? Absolutely no reason.
Worse, in The Pianist by Polanski how come this guy has to hide and live like a bum when he plays the piano so well? Once again the answer is no reason.
...
All great films contain some element of no reason."
With this introduction, writer/director Quentin Dupieux waves his magic wand and gives himself carte blanch to do whatever the hell he wants with no rhyme or reason whatsoever. 'It's the point, stupid!' This dialogue sounds like it was written by a 13-year-old who was eager to prove he knew a lot about movies by citing some famous movies and their directors (except, quite tellingly, Arthur Hiller who I guess doesn't have the same arty cache as Roman Polanski or Oliver Stone). Instead, he just comes off looking silly and more than a little childish. It's not like mainstream audiences are going to be watching Rubber anyway, so why not take inspiration from that other directing Quentin and cite some more esoteric titles?

This scene, a prologue of sorts, sets up the film in the wrong manner from the get go, anyway. Without it I may have been able to accept Rubber as just some sort of bizarre, prosaic stoner film, but by deliberately trying to give it a point of not having a point makes the whole thing a rather useless viewing experience. Dupieux is just making a movie with no point, and what's the point of that? There are movies that have free-flowing forms with little to no plot at all that still feel like more vital, energetic and importantly necessary, like they were born out of the directors need to tell that story, than Rubber. There's no need to think "what is he trying to do here?" because he admitted right up front that his movie is about nothing. And not in a humourous "it's a show about nothing" kind of way that is actually about something. It's just... there. A car tyre awakens by itself for some reason, it does some stuff and then the movie ends. Nothing to think about or enjoy here; It's just slow, repetitious and dull


It doesn't even have a deranged edge to it, with Dupieux - acting as cinematographer and editor - choosing to film it in a very chilly, straight-forward manner. It's easy to follow and boring when it should be messy and kinetically insane. It does have great visual effects, make-up and a wonderful pulsating music score by "Mr Oizo" and Gaspard Augé, but they can't save the film from being anything other than a director trying to cynically make a "hip" movie to get himself on the scene - something made all the more obvious by Dupieux's decision to film in English and set it in America, despite being a French filmmaker using French money - without having anything to actually say or anything interesting to show. D-

The Saw is Family

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre franchise is a peculiar one in the history of the horror genre in that every almost addition seems to follow a completely different mission statement. Tobe Hooper's 1974 original is a visceral home movie affair that is grungy, cheap and nasty; the 1986 sequel is a much different beast with its focus on comedy and absurdism that reaches its apex in a finale that, well, reaches an absurd apex; the fourth from 1997 is a another cheap and grungy affair, but this time plays like a camp 1980s slasher flick as it focuses on characters who get lost on their way to prom getting chased by Leatherface in drag.


The Texas Chain Saw Massacre (1974) | The Texas Chainsaw Massacre Part 2 (1986)


Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation (1997)
The films can't even get continuity in the titles let alone tone! The original is spelt Chain Saw, the second is Part 2, the third is given roman numerals and adds "Leatherface" before the classic title. And then there's the fourth which ditches any number at all, uses a subtitle and curiously deletes the "The" from the classic title.

The two most recent incarnations are in fact the only ones amongst the entire six-part (so far) series to feel connected. Marcus Nispel's 2003 "remake" (it's more of a direct sequel to Hooper's 1974 original than any of the other so-called sequels) and its 2006 prequel both wallow in a dirty, sun-bleached nihilism that works for some (like myself) and completely repels others. Even then, The Beginning was more of a lazy retread of its predecessor, which - in a meta sort of way - makes it completely unlike any of the other films in the series, so I guess that fits the pattern. Right? Yikes. I'm confusing myself!


The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003) | The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning (2006)
Last night I sat down to watch Leatherface: Texas Chainsaw Massacre III, the final film in the franchise that I had yet to see. I was curious to see where it would sit within the films; would it carry yet another completely different personality or would it be a stylistic companion? Turns out a bit of both. While it and The Next Generation certainly appear to be attempting a modern day redo of the original aesthetic, Leatherface is yet again another Chainsaw film that has its own beats and rhythm. And yet, by saying it has it's own personality is to also say it has no personality at all. It's the least invested of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre films, that's for sure, seemingly made by somebody who doesn't seem to particularly care what movie he's making. Director Jeff Burr seems unable to rouse even the most basic of scares that should come organically from a film in which A MAN WEARING A MASK MADE OF SKIN ATTACKING PEOPLE WITH A CHAINSAW! He seems to be aiming for the original's uneasy force, but the sloppy attempts at humour and lifeless chase-sequences put a kibosh to that.

Perhaps it's due to lead actress - the "final girl" if you wanna use the noted horror phrase - Kate Hodge being so frustratingly passive for the majority of the (brief 80 minute) running time. Burr's direction features none of the gut-churning reality and surprise of the original, nor the finely-tuned parade of grotesquery that made Nispel's retooling so effective and allowed it to stand apart from the mythic 1974 version. Similarly, the Sawyer clan were never the smartest members of the Texan gene pool, but here they seem particularly dim and like poor facsimiles of the earlier film.

And what of Viggo Mortensen you ask? He plays the role of insane, psycho serial killer with all the subtlety that you would expect from a film with "Texas Chainsaw Massacre" in the title. I did like the inclusion of Miriam Byrd-Nethery as "Mama Sawyer" with her throat cancer vocal thingamajig to the ever-expanding wheelhouse of bizarre Leatherface family members. The film's writer, David Schow, has attempted several "only in a Texas Chainsaw movie" things, many of which fall flat, but some do work and feel right at home (the little girl with blonde pigtails pulling what can only be described as a "mallet lever" is particularly noteworthy).

Still, nothing can disguise the fact that this is a rather docile addition to the series, and for a film that hails itself as "the most controversial horror film ever" is curiously gutless (literally and figuratively speaking). Plus it gets progressively sillier as it goes along, and not in the affectionately hilarious way that The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 did. No, I mean ridiculous like during the finale when the chainsaw - the actual chainsaw - takes on the life of "Bruce the Shark" as it cuts through a backwoods swamp like the fin in the opening credits of Jaws. And then there's the obviously tacked on happy ending that negates what came immediately before.


Still, at least it gave us this amazing and insane teaser trailer and isn't that something to be thankful for? C-

But Is She Pretty Enough?

Last July we got a look see at the trailer for Sean Byrne's insane fucked up horror movie The Loved Ones. At the time I hadn't seen the movie, but I now have and, yes, that trailer spoils a lot of it, I'm of the belief that many horror movie audience members want to know all that stuff is in there. Bang for their buck, in a way.

Nevertheless, now comes a teaser (yes, a teaser after a trailer) and it is instantly one of my favourites of the year. If they were able to show this in cinemas (I have a feeling there will be some "issues" in regards to the use of characters under copyright) then I am sure the movie would be a big hit. This little wonder is amazing. Via TwitchFilm!

Scream to Scream, Scene by Scene: SCENE 24 of Scream (1:05:44-1:06:43)

In this project I attempt to review the entire Scream trilogy scene by scene in chronological order. Heavy spoilers and gore throughout!

SCENE 24
Length: 59secs
Primary Characters: Stu Macher, Randy Meeks, Sidney Prescott and Billy Loomis
Pop Culture References:

• Clueless and Alicia Silverstone (Stu quotes the film)
• The Texas Chain Saw Massacre (Randy calls Billy "Leatherface")
  

Do you feel that? The emptiness? It's the feeling of living in a post-Tatum Riley world. Granted, we've been living in such a world for nearly 14 years, but it feels all fresh like a scab has been peeled off an old wound.

The party in its larger form is now over. Most of the attendees leave, but enough remain so you still have to wonder who's going to drop next. If this were the final scene of Scream 3 then that would be pretty much everybody, but this isn't Scream 3, not by a long shot. I did, however, watch a few scenes from that trilogy capper earlier today and I'm actually looking forward to dissecting that one most of all since it is not only not as good as the first two (although I still like it immensely), but it's an entirely different beast altogether.

Neeeever mind. Let's move on.






I must say, I really hate this moment (except Sidney's reaction shot - she looks really good there!) It reminds me (even though it came before) the scene at the end of Titanic where the old lady drops the necklace into the ocean and makes that silly noice. I just don't get why Billy makes that ridiculous screaming sound. Like, way to make everyone feel jumpy, jerk. Of course, that is the least of the things that make him a jerk by the end of the film, but hopefully you catch my drift.


See, now they featured that shot at the very end of scene 23 of Ghostface going back into the house, but I don't see how Tatum's killer could be anyone other than Billy (since Stu would've been busy at his own party). Still, this is but yet another way of them making us think "Billy is soooo the killer."


I like all the little moments where Billy seems to be reigning Stu in from all but telling the world they're the masked killers. This bit - Billy punching Stu in the balls - is like saying "dude, why don't you just tell her to go upstairs where you'll be waiting to attack her!" in a sarcastic tone.


"What's Leatherface doing here?"
Aw, poor Randy. Poor, delusional Randy.

I remember only having a vague knowledge of who/what "Leatherface" was by having seen the VHS copies of the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre as well as Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation of video shelves. I remember it was the latter because it features Leatherface in drag? Yikes.

Anyway. Poor, delusional, geeky, never-get-the-girl Randy.


"As if. That's all I'm sayin'. As if."


"Oh yeah, Alicia?"
Scream was released just one year after Clueless, let's not forget that. Meanwhile, how old do you feel now? :s


Poor, delusional, never-get-the-girl, virginal Randy. :(

Intro, Scene 1 Scene 2, Scene 3, Scene 4, Scene 5, Scene 6, Scene 7, Scene 8, Scene 9, Scene 10, Scene 11, Scene 12, Scene 13, Scene 14, Scene 15, Scene 16, Scene 17, Scene 18, Scene 19, Scene 20, Scene 21, Scene 22, Scene 23

RIP Dennis Hopper

I know I am late to the table in regards to Dennis Hopper's death, but I didn't exactly have anything different to say about the man. He was one of a kind, from the early days with James Dean (Rebel Without a Cause, Giant), to starting a revolution (Easy Rider, not a film I like), to his portrayal of one of the all time great movie villains ("Frank Booth" in David Lynch's Blue Velvet), his multiple career revivals and everything in between.

However, I wanted to briefly discuss some of the movies that I haven't seen mentioned once in the few Dennis Hopper obits that I have read; Red Rock West and The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2. The former is, I think, a stunning movie with a great performance by Hopper in the same year that brought about his blockbuster turn in Speed. Severely underrated that film. The latter, however, is a very symbolic movie in Hopper's career. It was one of the very first films that he made after his stint in rehab for drugs along with Blue Velvet and I think it's more insane than that iconic role. He plays a relative of one of the dead characters from the first movie and it's just flat out bonkers.




Hopper directed Easy Rider, and is famous for it, but he also directed one of my favourite movies of the 1980s and that is Colors. It stars Robert Duvall and Sean Penn and is such fascinating exploration of 1980s gang culture in Los Angeles. It's great stuff and I implore you to go watch it if you never have (and Ice-T's theme song, "Colors", is a masterpiece). The last movie I want to mention is Tycus. It is a terrible movie, but hilariously so. Just watch the trailer and I'm sure you'll agree. Watch the movie and laaauuugh your heart out.


RIP Dennis Hopper.

Five Shots: Peek

Design of a Decade: The Greatest Hits of the '00s - Part VI [Final]

This is it, the final piece in the jigsaw that is my personal countdown of the best cinematic achievements of the last decade. By now I am sure you have worked out what a good half or so of the final 25 positions will be held by, but I hope you still get a kick out of it. If you haven't read Part I, Part II, Part III, Part IV and Part V then you will have no idea what's going on (reading the rules would be beneficial too) so before we continue please do so.

25.
CRAFT: Production Design
Tom Foden, Geoff Hubbard, Michael Manson & Guy Dyas
The Cell
Shout out must also go to Eiko Ishioka's costumes, but it is the production design and art direction that really stood out most of all for me. Unique and fantastical, as well as visually astonishing representations of famous artworks and original set pieces alike. Incredible work.


24.
MUSIC: Original Soundtrack, Selmasongs
Performed by Bjork
Dancer in the Dark
I originally spent a fair amount of time deciding how to represent the original song score of Lars Von Trier's Dancer in the Dark on the countdown. Should it be the "I've Seen It All" scene, or how about "Cvalda"? What about a song citation for "New World" or so on. I decided to simply go with the soundtrack that was released, Selmasongs. It features some alterations to the film versions - of particular obviousness is the new version of "I've Seen It All", now with Thom Yorke - but each and every song is overflowing with brilliance. It's hard to pick a favourite, and yet my mind seems to wind towards "New World".




23.CRAFT: Original Screenplay
Charlie Kaufman
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
I don't think I have to discuss this much at all, do I? I think by this stage everybody and their pet knows how great this movie is and that a large part of it has to do with the screenplay by Kaufman. This movie is the best thing ever done by basically every single person involved.



22.
PERFORMANCE: Laura Dern
"Nikki Grace" / "Susan Blue"
INLAND EMPIRE
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That about covers it, doesn't it?


21.
PEOPLE: Lars Von Trier
Dancer in the Dark, Dogville, Dear Wendy, The Five Obstruction, The Boss of it All & Antichrist
With his only true misstep this decade coming from the awful Manderlay, a sequel to Dogville that sent him into near career-ending depression apparently, Von Trier was at his provocative best. Anybody who made Dancer in the Dark and Dogville would be right up there anyway, but throw in the rest of his work - including writing the screenplay for Dear Wendy - and he's earned his spot.

20.
SCENE: "El Tango de Roxanne"
Moulin Rouge!
The best thing The Police have ever been involved in.


19.
PEOPLE: Dion Beebe
The Goddess of 1967, Equilibrium, Chicago, In the Cut, Collateral, Memoirs of a Geisha, Miami Vice & Nine
The best cinematographer of the decade was this Aussie lenser. While he won an Oscar for Memoirs of a Geisha (his least impressive work of the titles listed above) and failed to even be nominated for Collateral, In the Cut and Nine (his three crowning achievements if you ask me) shows some weird alignment issues between the man and the Academy, Dion Beebe has proven time and time again that he is a stunning DP.

Just writing about him now and several images instantly flash into my mind - the blue bridge from Miami Vice, the delicate petals of the In the Cut opening sequence, the "Roxie" sequence of Chicago etc. His finest achievement, however, is Collateral, a film I have no qualms in saying features the best cinematography of the decade.

18.
CHARACTER: "The Bride" aka "Beatrix Kiddo"
Played by Uma Thurman
Kill Bill, Vol. 1 & Kill Bill, Vol. 2
As truly blazing as I think Uma Thurman is in the role of her career in Quentin Tarantino's Kill Bill films, I think so much of that has to be put down to the character itself. "The Bride" was an iconic character of the decade, without a doubt.


17.
PERFORMANCE: Christian Bale
"Patrick Bateman"
American Psycho
The best male performance of the decade came before even the first year was up! Let's take a trip back to 2000, shall we? Leonardo DiCaprio had been rumoured to have the part, Reese Witherspoon was still willing to make artistic ventures such as this, Chloe Sevigny was perhaps on the verge of mainstream acceptance after her recent Academy Award nomination and Christian Bale was nothing more than an actor that we all felt a bit creepy about staring at in the shower/tanning bed because a) he was carving up characters left and right, and b) he was the kid from Empire of the Sun.

I wasn't able to see American Psycho at the cinema due to it's R18+ rating (sorta like NC17 in the USA), but I did win the soundtrack and so I heard the hilarious monologues about preening and dead souls and all of that good stuff and was instantly obsessed. When I finally did see it I was blown away, and my appreciation for the film - many, many viewings later - has only grown. Christian Bale is the epicentre for that love and if he's gone a bit off the rails lately, that's okay because in my mind he will always be reciting the virtues of Huey Lewis and the News, Genisis, Whitney Houston and the importance of a really good facial shower scrub.

16.
PEOPLE: Gus Van Sant
Elephant, Gerry, Last Days, Last Days, Paris je t'aime, Paranoid Park & Milk
Career resuscitation didn't come quite as incredibly as it did with Gus Van Sant. He started the decade with Finding Forrester, unseen by me, but known to be thoroughly middle-of-the-road before trucking on with his "Death Trilogy" that was an astonishing achievement of artistic freedom, independent filmmaking and technical experimentation. It started with Gerry, although Australia got Palme d'Or-winner and personal favourite Elephant first, and continued on through to the proxy sequel Paranoid Park and then capped it off with the sublime Oscar-winner Milk.


15. / 14.
Ellen Burstyn
"Sara Goldfard"
Requiem for a Dream

Björk
"Selma Jezkova"
Dancer in the Dark
I am sorry, but it is nigh on impossible for me to separate these two performances. I genuinely believe they are as good as each other and I shouldn't have to split them up just because of some (non-existent, might I add) "no ties" rule that some people may have. Ask me on any given day of the week who I think deserved the Oscar and it'll change depending of my mood (if I'm depressed, Ellen, if I'm really depressed, Björk) and many other factors. So here they are, together as they should be.

13.
SCENE: "The Face"
INLAND EMPIRE
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That about covers it, doesn't it?


12.
MUSIC: Original Score
Angelo Badalamenti
Mulholland Drive
Obviously, at least a smidgen of the success that David Lynch had with Mulholland Drive had to relate to Angelo Badalamenti's fantastic score. The synths of that opening credits sequence (listen below) makes me want to put myself into the fetal position and rock back and forth, while "Love Theme" has the power to make me cry and "Silencio" is just aurally bonkers. It's all just so magical, I love it. I can only imagine what Badalamenti would have come up with if Mulholland Drive had have become the TV series it was originally meant to be. We'd be listening to volumes upon volumes of music much like I still do for Twin Peaks.


11.
SCENE: "Shoot-Out"
Open Range
The best gun fight since The Matrix in 1999 was this in Kevin Costner's western Open Range. It easily trumps that pioneering movie and I can't even think of how many years we would all have to go back to see another one of this exemplary quality. I'd go out on a limb and call this perfect filmmaking if I was feeling bold...




10.
MARKETING: Poster
Akiko Stehrenberger
Funny Games

A poster that, itself, plays games with the audience. Is it a movie still? Is it painted? Is it just photoshopped? Who knows. I don't and I don't care, because it just looks so incredible. It would have been so easy to make this one of those annoying stripey posters or one where Naomi's tear-stricken face adorns the bottom right hand corner surrounded by empty space, but it's not. They chose to use an image that not only strikes possible pain, anguish and terror into anyone looking at it, but does so in a manner than screams "WE'RE HERE!" There's no hiding from Naomi's face on this one.

The contrast, that image, that tagline, the simple helvetica font, it all just works. It's become iconic in poster-watching circles and for good reason. It's topped most similar lists to this and, for a change, group think is actually right! Viva la Haneke, I guess. Nothing can get me to actually watch the movie (so perhaps that's an immediate fail right there?) but this poster should be plastered all over my wall like wallpaper and like the Mona Lisa it would follow me everywhere.

9.
EXPERIENCE: Interactive Cinema
The Room
In my review of Tommy Wiseau's "disasterpiece" I wrote that attending a screening of The Room was "the greatest cinematic experience of my life." And I stand by that. I have never had so much fun in a cinema, fact. It's obviously not the best movie I have ever seen, but there's something entirely different about experiencing a movie such as this in a packed cinema with others who are having a good time and enjoying themselves. It's a completely different thrill to what you get by watching something such as Birth. It's incomparable, really. I saw this again a couple of months later and it was just as good. I can't wait for it to return to Cinema Nova here in Melbourne so I can go again. It was life-changing, really.

8.
MARKETING: Trailer
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I can distinctly remember seeing this trailer for the first time. It absolutely terrified me. I hadn't seen the original Texas Chain Saw Massacre at that stage because the idea of it was just too much for me (I subsequently rushed out and hired it from the video store) and so that's probably why I have such a strong affinity for it. Something about it just struck me "to the core" and paralysed me with fear. And then I went and saw the movie and I was paralysed again, but we're not talking about the film here, we're talking about the trailer.

It's such a perfectly constructed trailer, I think. It doesn't show you everything, but it also doesn't show you nothing at all (like some trailer seem to do in an effort to be cool, "look how obtuse this trailer is! you can barely tell what movie it's selling! etc!" It ramps up all those key horror zing words such as "tension" and "dread" and offers but mere glimpses of several key ingredients (such as Leatherface). I also love the camera sound effects, an obvious direct reference to the opening scene of the 1974 original. Not to mention the perfect use of music, This Mortal Coil's "Song to the Siren" and Peter Gabriel's "Signal to Noise" and some excellent editing in the second half.


What I think the trailer did best, however, and this part is key, is that it completely changed the outcast for the film. Before the trailer premiered every single person who had an opinion on the topic was in the negative. "How dare they!" and so forth. With this trailer people suddenly changed. In fact, you could say that this trailer changed the horror genre. Sure, it "changed" it for worse from a creativity standpoint, but the current trend of remaking famous horror classics (think Halloween, Friday the 13th, Nightmare on Elm Street and so forth) - arguably the genres only reason to still be seen as a dominant box office force outside of Saw - wouldn't exist without it and despite how poor most of these remakes have been (Massacre and The Hills Have Eyes being the only ones I could label as better than "adequate"), where would the genre be without them? I imagine nobody would be talking about horror as a viable box office force and without that we wouldn't get the few moments of genuine horror goodness that studios feel safe in funding because they know there is an audience for them.

I'm sure you can now understand why I have ranked this trailer so high? I can talk and talk about it endlessly. I have watched it countless times and, I say, anytime the DVD special features denote a segment to how good a trailer was then they've done something right. And, just lastly - seriously, I'm going on for ages, aren't it? - it very literally changed the way I look at movie marketing. I want all trailers to be this poster, just like I want all posters to be as good as #10 up there. That's why this was such a defining moment of the decade for me.


7.
TREND: Musicals
Dancer in the Dark, Moulin Rouge!, Hedwig and the Angry Inch, 8 Women, The Happiness of the Katakuris, Chicago, The Producers, Prey For Rock & Roll, Dreamgirls, Happy Feet, Across the Universe, Hairspray, Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street & Nine
I was so freakin' happy that the musical came back. It'd be gone for too long (well, it was there, but it wasn't good) and I missed it dearly. There's only so many times one can watch Xanadu and wish that somebody would make a movie just like it for today's audiences. Oh who am I kidding? You can never watch Xanadu too many times!

But seriously, the musicals listed above all have stuff about them that I admire greatly. Yes, even the ones such as The Producers and Nine. And - oh yes - there is a reason I didn't include Once or Were the World Mine or Camp, all of which are movies I have firmly placed in the "overrated shit" column. But, hey, if I'm allowed to like The Producers then, by all means, others are allowed to like Camp.

I definitely think that out of all the musicals this decade it was Hairspray that got the balance best. It can be silly to see characters suddenly break out into song, I get that (hello Mamma Mia!), but Adam Shankman's film made it feel so effortless and easy. Of course, Dreamgirls had issues with "is it a stage musical or not? and what worked for Rob Marshall's Chicago didn't always work for Rob Marshall's Nine, but in the grand scheme of things I was just glad to be able to at least twice a year enter a cinema and see people singing on screen. Sometimes it was in lavish costumes, other times it was on bare stages, but it was there and that's all that matters to me. I look forward to another decade of musicals and hope that the likes of Burlesque, In the Heights, My Fair Lady and so on can continue to make the genre a strong and formidable force.

6.
SCENE: "Car Chase"
Death Proof
The greatest car chase ever filmed? It's certainly right up there, and without having seen the classics of that particular list (The French Connection, Bullitt, the original Gone in 60 Seconds) on the big screen, it's hard to tell. I, however, can never get enough of this extended sequence in the second half of Quentin Tarantino's GrindHouse segment (that was released in Australia all by its lonesome), Death Proof. My adrenalin goes through the roof! Classic.




5.
PEOPLE: Alexandre Desplat
The Luzchin Defense, Girl with a Pearl Earring, Birth, Hostage, The Queen, The Painted Veil, Lust Caution, The Golden Compass, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, Coco avant Chanel & Fantastic Mr Fox
Alexandre Desplat would have ranked high without Birth on his roster, but the fact of the matter is that the score to Jonathan Glazer's Birth is - and I'm not using hyperbole here - the single greatest musical score I've ever heard. Yes, I said it. I'm not just saying this because I'm young and don't know any better like when I was 11 years old and had a serious debate with myself as to which was my favourite movie of all time, Independence Day or Mars Attacks. No, I am sure there are hundreds of incredible scores out there that I have never heard, but of all of those that I have heard Birth is my favourite. Now, add on all the others up there and you have your reason for why he is ranked so high. He is already well on his way to being one of the greatest.

4.
SCENE: "Welcome to the Moulin Rouge!"
Moulin Rouge!
No single scene, no single moment, was as immediate and as film-defining as Christian’s introduction to the Moulin Rouge club of 1898. No single moment drew such a definitive line in the sand and proudly screamed "LOVE ME OR HATE ME!" as the moment a chorus line of gents in tops and tails struts past a giant elephant singing Nirvana’s "Smells Like Teen Spirit". Or how about a hallucinogenic Kylie Minogue dissolving into a swirling black hole of debauchery. Or Jim Broadbent flying through the sky with an umbrella to the sounds of Can Can dancers? This extended sequence – I include up to Satine’s collapse from the high-wire – was literally like nothing I had ever seen before (or since). Make or break... and it made.

I could go on and on about this sequence - how did this alone not win Best Editing and Best Sound at the Oscars? Nicole Kidman's range in these seven minutes alone is astonishing. So much exposition that I honestly can't take anybody seriously who claims it's one big indulgence. - but I won't. There are those that said Moulin Rouge! was a musical for "the MTV generation", which is a shorthand way for old fogies to give themselves a pass for not wanting to put in the work and actually watch what Baz Luhrmann was doing. I, however, MTV generation or not, cannot imagine the decade without it.


Part II, which can't be embedded.
3.
SCENE: "The Opera"
Birth
There aren't too many words to describe this moment from Jonathan Glazer's Birth that truly express my feelings on the matter. Seeing it on the big screen, something that not many people did, left me speechless. Rewatching it on DVD does too, but that first time watching this moment was like something spiritual. An epiphany.


2.
PERFORMANCE: Naomi Watts
"Betty Elms" / "Diane Selwyn"
Mulholland DriveM
A performance of such instant eye-opening revelation and ferocity, Naomi Watts' performance as duel David Lynch catalysts is truly the greatest performance of the decade. From the innocent of "Betty Elms" to the lurid, desperation of "Diane Selwyn", Watts tears through this performance with incredible tenacity and bravura. Star-making turns don't come quite like this very often and it is now impossible to imagine what Mulholland Drive would be without her.

1.
PEOPLE: Nicole Kidman
Moulin Rouge!, The Others, The Hours, Cold Mountain, Dogville, Birth, The Interpreter, Fur: An Imaginary Portrait of Diane Arbus, Happy Feet, Margot at the Wedding, The Golden Compass, Australia & Nine
Consider this: The last Nicole Kidman movie that I failed to see in the cinema (and still haven't seen on DVD for that matter) was The Human Stain way back in 2003.

For me there was no one quite like Nicole Kidman this decade. She had shown promise before - namely in her early Australian work and Gus Van Sant's To Die For - but nothing could have prepared for the 1-2-3 punch of musical Moulin Rouge!, horror The Others and Oscar-winning drama The Hours. Throw in Lars Von Trier's Dogville and Jonathan Glazer's Birth and you have one of the most incredible runs I can think of. While the quality of the movies certainly dipped in the second half of the decade, there was still greatness to be had. Her performance in Margot at the Wedding is astounding in its acidic bite, The Golden Compass is delicious evil and even Australia features some wonderful stuff.

But this #1 placement isn't just for the movies and the performances, it's for this idea of Nicole Kidman who is so willing and fearless. What other top tier actress would get on an airplane the day after winning an Oscar for a British prestige period piece to go to Denmark and film a Lars Von Trier allegory tale on a set with only white lines on a bare stage? How many others would be willing to make such an nontraditional biopic like Fur when there was surely a more Oscar-baiting one waiting to be made. Did anybody else make three musicals this decade? Who else was so able to see what directors were doing great stuff and actively sought out working with them? Luhrmann, Amenabar, Von Trier, Glazer, Shainberg, Hirschbiegel and Baumbach aren't names that will appear of anybody else's filmography in succession. Not to mention the likes of Pollack, Minghella, Daldry and Miller.

I am sure that some of my readers will have negative things to say about her - omgtoomuchbotox, omgshesicecold etc - but I don't care. Nicole Kidman was this decade's defining actor and that's why she is number one. No actor meant more to me than Nicole Kidman and no other actor deserves the number one ranking in my mind more than Nicole Kidman. Viva la Kidman!


~-~
And, because I'm sure you all now have some sort of rough estimate of what my top ten of the decade was, I'll just list them without any further words.

1. Mulholland Drive, dir. David Lynch
2. Moulin Rouge!, dir. Baz Luhrmann
3. Birth, dir. Jonathan Glazer
4. Elephant, dir. Gus Van Sant
5. Bowling for Columbine, dir. Michael Moore
6. American Psycho, dir. Mary Harron
7. Dogville, dir. Lars Von Trier
8. Lost in Translation, dir. Sofia Coppola
9. Dancer in the Dark, dir. Lars Von Trier
10. Chicago, dir. Rob Marshall
And so ends 'Design of a Decade'. I hope you have had as much fun digesting the decade as I have.