"Zaftig? Isn't that German for 'Big Fat Pig'?" - The Margaret Cho-Dependance

Some days there really isn't much to get out of bed for, it's true. And then there are days like today where I discovered an old, but new to me, video of Margaret Cho stand-up and I think to myself "sometimes like is good!"

Thanks to Mark at Critical Condition for alerting me to the fact that Cho's 1994 HBO half-hour special has popped up on YouTube! I had never seen it, although several jokes used within it were used as much later as her astonishing 1999 documentary I'm the One that I Want - a film that, to this day and multiple viewings later, remains a laugh out loud riot and one of my all time favourite movies - and Notorious C.H.O. in 2002. The videos below (it's split into two 15 minute sections) remain as hilarious today as I'm sure they were nearly 20 (TWENTY!) years ago.

Don't get me wrong here, Cho still sends me into fits of uproarious laughter - in fact, in a strange twist of fate, I turned on the TV this afternoon and Cho was a guest on The View! - and her musical album, Cho Dependent that was released last year, is a wonderfully comedic yet serious musically in tune recording, but after Notorious C.H.O. I felt like she started to focus so much on the gay/sex angle of her act that she neglected other parts that she so vividly and poignantly made the focus of in her early work.

The variety and spread of topics and the speed with which she powers through the jokes is phenomenal in the 1994 special. It's amazing how great and funny the jokes still are and how about that costume? Looking like a less-tailored Irma Vep, she is! But, oh my, those jokes! Gags about Rosie Perez, Prince, her TV series All-American Girl (almost titled Wok on the Wild Side), the word "zaftig", weight, trapdoor sex, "Moran", her born again Christian brother, racists, chinos... "and then there's the ho!"

Watch the special below and then underneath that I've included a clip from I'm the One that I Want, which I can't recommend enough, and a couple of tracks from her album Cho Dependent. Enjoy.






"Intervention" (feat. Tegan & Sara) | "Eat Shit and Die" (feat. Grant Lee Phillips)

Old, Older, Oldest

I haven't just been watching insiped kids' movies, chilly, porcelain art films and meditative journey's through time. No, I do occasionally give myself time to see movies made before the invention of the DVD and thank heavens for that because the only film I've seen from 2011 that even approaches the brilliance of the follow trio of films has been Meek's Cutoff - a movie that has gotten a barely there release, even by Australian standards.

Beginning with David Cronenberg's frighteningly prophetic Videodrome seems as good a place as any, doesn't it? As I slowly make my way through the man's oeuvre I find myself becoming more and more of a fan. So much so, actually, that as I viewed the recently launched trailer for his latest, the Freud and Jung psychoanalysis A Dangerous Method, I kept hoping for something deliciously wicked to happen like - oh, I dunno - Michael Fassbender dissolving into a giant vagina made of goo and thorns.

Nevertheless, Videodrome is a crazy psycho-sci-fi-horror flick that paints a lurid, grotesque picture of a mentally decaying civilisation, which, in a neat twist, has turned out to be a spot on prediction of the future. Made in 1983, it presents a world where executives of a niche television network play amongst themselves trying to push the boundaries of taste and to tell you any more would be silly because, even though it's nearly 30 years old (!!!), to witness its hallucinogenic mindfunks free of knowledge is still the best way to go.

If you must - or if you've already seen it - how about this trailer! Created on a Commodore 64 with graphics that look like a long lost Lime record cover, it's certainly a relic of its time.


James Woods plays James Woods as always, but how great is Deborah Harry? She pops up in the strangest of places (usually Canadian) and yet is always a treat. As the seductress with an interest in the burgeoning kink scene, Debbie's "Nikki Brand" is a wonderful creation and it helps that she can play it so very well. Cronenberg is so enamoured with Harry's lips that they become the centrepiece of what is arguably Videodrome's most famous sequence. I love how smouldering she looks on the two ace Videodrome posters below. The film as a whole is just terrific though. Ugly and menacing, yet never stifling and claustrophobic. It's science fiction at its most fascinating and mind-blowing. Long live the new flesh Videodrome! A


I recently had the chance to see Victor Fleming's 1939 epic Gone with the Wind on the big screen and, without hesitation, I jumped at it. Screening at The Astor Theatre with overture and intermission in tact - the only thing missing was Marzipan creeping around the lobby (she was at the vet).

What is there that can be said about Gone with the Wind that hasn't already been said? And I'm not just saying that because I can't be bothered typing much about it, but because there really isn't much to say that wouldn't just sound like heavy squeals - VIVIAN LEIGH! THE COSTUMES!! THE SETS!!! VIVIAN LEIGH!!!! EVERYTHING!!!!! VIVIAN LEIGH!!!!!! ETC!!!!!!! You get the deal. Seeing it on a big screen was, needless to say, a bit better than a DVD on the TV (and, on at least one viewing, with the wrong side of the disc in, resulting in watching a hefty chunk of the film's second half before everything else. Oops.) I lost track of the amount of times my face lit up with a grin as big as Tara witnessing those images projected onto a cinema screen for the first time. Tomorrow is another day... A+

Lastly - just last night in fact - I immersed myself in The Battleship Potemkin, Sergei Eisenstein's famed 1925 silent film about the mutiny on board the titular ship and the effects - albeit fictionalised - it had on the nearby port town of Odessa. It's an astonishing film, and one that is constantly surprising in its use of editing and cinematography, not to mention the curiously numerous moments of homoerotic imagery that Eisenstein, a gay man, put into the film. Querelle eat your heart out! Okay, maybe not that much...


As someone who finds his resistance to silent films deteriorating with each subsequent viewing, I was shocked by how little it felt like a chore to sit through as some silents can be. There was only one instance of my biggest silent movie pet peeve where a character speaks for what feels like a lengthy moment of time and yet only one brief title card of dialogue appears on screen afterwards! That's a win in my book. Much like the best silent films I have seen - Murnau's Sunrise: A Song of Two Humans and Nosferatu, Pabst's Pandora's Box, Lang's M and Metropolis - it has a vibrancy and a strength of storytelling ability that belies its origins. It's why I don't care for DW Griffith's The Birth of a Nation or Intolerance, both of which are unwieldy, excessive and over-wrought. For all the "he invented [insert camera trick]!" praise that Griffith gets, I couldn't help but feel that watching this film, and in particular the "Odessa Steps" sequence, was more akin to watching cinema for the first time. It's such a striking, deeply powerful piece of filmmaking that actually had be gasping. It's amazing how techniques seen hundreds of time since can still have such an impact like they do here. I'd heard about the "Odessa Steps" scene and everytime I saw those steps I thought to myself "is this is?" When it began, however, I could tell "oh, this is it!" and was instantly swept up, just as I was the rest of the film. A

I, unfortunately, feel like I could barely find time to watch all 74 minutes of Battleship Potemkin once this weekend let alone twice, which is what I wanted to do. I have heard the Pet Shop Boys' score to the film long before I'd seen the movie itself and now that I've seen it I really did want to watch it again with the sound on mute and their 2007 electronic synth driven music score on the speakers. It's a thrilling 69 minutes worth of music from the Boys - credited as Tennant/Lowe for some reason - and would be interested to see how it plays alongside the monster of a film. Has anybody done it or, better yet, been a one of the rare screenings featuring the Pet Shop Boys' score? People have done the same thing to Metropolis, which would be another fascinating combination given science fiction and synthesisers go hand in hand.

If you're at all like me and are curious, here is a video that somebody uploaded. Very interesting.

Cinema of the Absurd: Teen Witch

TEEN WITCH
1989, dir. Dorian Walker

So, I watched this last night.


No, not just some random awful white rap musical sequence from 1989 teen fantasy Teen Witch, but the actual entire movie! All 93 bizarre, weird and somewhat wonderful minutes of Dorian Walker's cultish flick that can lay claim to some of the worst musical numbers ever put to film. It's like Sabrina, the Teenage Witch, but with less talking cats that only ever look real when curiously running away from the camera and more dance sequences involving women with big hair wearing lavender leotards. I mean, if Sabrina had one of those then I sure don't remember it (so it might've been during the "Sabrina goes to college with Punky Brewster no it's true I'm not making that up!" years.

Beginning with an opening credits sequence that looks a lot like my Saturday mornings watching Video Hits, Teen Witch stars Robyn Lively as "Louise Miller", a dowdy and unpopular high school student who, upon her 16th birthday, discovers she's a witch. Isn't that always the way? Louise wants to look and be as popular as fictional freestyle pop musician Shana, a singer that sounds an awful lot like Brenda K Starr and looks a bit like Stacie Q meets Robin Sparkles (it's the bedazzled jacket, I think.)


Eventually she gets too popular and wants things to be the same again, except when she does she's still kinda popular? I dunno. Who knows what anything in Teen Witch is trying to be. The entire movie is filled with these completely random musical sequences that at once don't feel real and yet aren't ever presented as elaborate fantasies. They do nothing to propel the plot ("the plot"), but instead act as a less-than-stealth effort to ship ancillary soundtracks. It didn't work.


My favourite part of this particular scene, set to the song "Most Popular Girl", is the white boy rap (yet again rearing its ugly, bloated head) from the car window as Louise walks around awkwardly trying to be "sexy". Let's remember that Robyn was only 16 years old at the time and she carries the sequence off with as much confidence as a cat in a clothes dryer. Still, the actress went on to appear on six episodes of Twin Peaks so I'm gonna cut her some slack.

Of course, there is a hottie football playing jock that she is just totally in love with who's dating the sexy cheerleader bimbo. His name is "Mark" and is played by Dan Gauthier as some sort of Jake Ryan of 1989. I will give them this: Gauthier is a handsome man. And, yes, even more handsome without a shirt one, which is something we get to discover early on.


img src
It's my understanding that he got even more, ahem, handsome throughout the rest of his career, if you know what I mean. Especially Illegal in Blue. Ahem. Yes, very handsome. Naked handsome.

Oh, damn! I was trying to not be so obvious!


"Geez Louise!"*
We also discover that the cheerleaders at this frightening school (I'd certainly believe that the town Teen Witch is set in is actually Sunnydale and that the hellmouth is directly below them) are even more impressive than Nomi "Showgirl" Malone or Ali "Burlesque" No-Last-Name at learning choreographed dance moves; these cheerleaders can memorise them before they've even been shown!


So fab! Except not.

It seems silly to poke holes in the logic of a film such as Teen Witch, but there I was doing just that. Whether it's cheerleaders knowing dance routines through freaky mental telekinesis, Louise suddenly becoming a cheerleader or the increasingly perplexing manner in which Louise's witch powers work. Apparently she needs to be wearing a secret amulet, and yet if her teacher hadn't have found it in the school costume department (?!?) then her witchery would never occur. Furthermore, at first Louise just has to say "I wish..." for something to happen and then later she needs to do a spell, and then make a potion, and then use a voodoo doll (a particularly terrifying sequence involving a paedophile teacher walking into a car wash to get a "hot wax" *shudder*) and then... and then... it doesn't make a lick of sense. Louise is seen riding a broom stick on the cover (left) and this DOESN'T EVER HAPPEN ONCE! Very disappointing if you ask me. It also features a witches hat that also never appears. The makers of Teen Witch were clearly not very hip to the Wiccan ways.

The moment at film's end (OMG SPOILERS!!!) where Louise attends the prom and throws her magical amulet away in order to bring her old life back (except it doesn't, it just means she's no longer a witch? because her popularity seems to remain in check!) actually features the movie's best song. And from such a glorious soundtrack, it sure was hard to pick!!!


It's called "Finest Hour" and it's amazing in that '80s teen movie kinda way. I still don't understand why the creepy fortune teller played by Zelda Rubenstein is at a high school prom, but let's just leave that be, shall we?

Oh yeah, and that is Zelda Rubenstein as "Madame Serena", riding that late career Poltergeist spike into the ground with yet another mystical psychic person whatever. She even got on the poster! She wears a wicked shawl and funny hat, which is basically all the character she has.

And don't even get me started on Louise's obnoxious brother, "Ritchie", played by Joshua Miller. The worst movie character I've had the displeasure of watching since Josh Gad in Love & Other Drugs.


But, really, in the end, it all comes down to whether one finds hilarity gold within Teen Witch's most famous ("most"? Only!) sequence: the "Top That!" white boy/white girl rap number. Let's watch it again.


And again.


There really isn't anything about this clip that doesn't ring my bell of fantastic. How about the truly epic fugness of that Hawaiian shirt/blue singlet/capri jeans combo worn by "Rhet"? Actor Noah Blake went on to become kinda cute in a douchey sorta way (he starred on Harry and the Hendersons!), but I'd love to know what he thinks of this. Hell, I'd love to know what Amanda Ingber things especially. She's the actress playing "Polly". You know, the girl who's rapping and yet her lips and the vocals don't seem to quite sync up. Yeah. Wow.


Indeed, Polly. Indeed.

Just as an aside, I love that somebody tried to create links for each individual song on the "Teen Witch" soundtrack! Either they did exist at some point and Wikipedia took them down, or whoever did the editing on this movie's page had a lot of faith in its fandom. "Surely there must be a Wikipedia page for 'Top That!', right?"


Unfortunately it appears that no soundtrack was ever made and yet The Foo Fighters continue to get their music released? What kind of a world is this?

Of course, white boy rap was actually pretty common around 1989, but it's as if everything that could possibly go wrong(/amazing) did. The clothes! The bad singing! The homoerotic vibe! The bicycles! The Vine recently labelled it the third worst musical number of all time, higher than Vanilla Ice in Teenager Mutant Ninja Turtles II: Secret of the Ooze, another all time classic white boy rap moment.

To paraphrase Polly in Teen Witch: Look how funky they are!!


It's impossible to resist the funk.

Teen Witch was apparently intended as a female version of Teen Wolf (why is it that the words "female version of" are almost always associated with really bad movies?), but got changed around and ultimately became the Teen Witch not many of us know and sorta love, but not really.

I particularly like this little factoid from the movie's Wikipedia page:

The production budget for Teen Witch was $2,500,000. The film was released in the US on April 23, 1989 and grossed $3,875 in its opening weekend at the box office, and only $27,843 total in its entire run.

Well done to everyone involved, I say! I imagine the box office would have been better if it had more studded denim jackets, robots and lines like "I'm gonna rock your body like it's Canada Day". Now, see, earlier I mentioned that a character in Teen Witch reminded me of Robin Sparkles. Little did I know that somebody out there in this magical world that we know as "the internet" had actually mashed the two of them together and made the fabulous video below entitled "Teen Witch Goes to the Mall". Amazing.


I can't think of anything better to end this entry on than that. Can you? Actually, not true... watch the video below for the final word on Teen Witch.

Teen Witch is certainly an absurd movie, just one look at Louise's denim jacket with leopard print panels will tell you that! It actually has a charm about it though that will remind many viewers of a certain age of a time of film and TV made for young adults. It's harmless, so it's absurdity ranking is lowered somewhat, but how can one watch "Top That!" and not think it is an eye-popping WTF moment? I give it a ranking of 3.5/5 on the scale of 1-5 thrusting showgirls.


*actual dialogue :|

Scream to Scream, Scene by Scene: SCENE 17 of Scream 2 (0:46:24-0:49:54)

In this project I attempt to review the entire Scream trilogy scene by scene in chronological order. Heavy spoilers and gore throughout!



SCENE 17 of Scream 2
Length: 3min 30secs
Primary Characters: Sidney Prescott, Derek, Hallie, Mickey, Sister Lois, Sister Murphy, Portia de Rossi's Eyebrows, Officer Richards and Officer Andrews.
Pop Culture References:

• Prime Time Live, 20/20 and Dateline (news programs Sidney has apparently turned down)
• Jeffrey Dahmer (Mickey compares Randy to this serial killer)
• The Bodyguard and Kevin Costner (Hallie references the movie)
• Top Gun (Derek's impromptu singing is like this Tom Cruise movie)
• The Partridge Family ("I Think I Love You" was originally performed by them)
  

Timothy Olyphant with an apple in his mouth. Oh dear...

Also, I like that Hallie and Derek are sitting together. Perhaps plotting their next murder in the original version of the screenplay. Hmmm.


"Where's the secret service guys?"
"Uh, over there."
"And which one is Kevin Costner?"
"The one on the right is Officer Richards, he is a Capricorn divorced father of two. And the one on the left is Officer Andrews and he is a Gemini, SINGLE but I think he's gay."



Teehee. Cute moment between Hallie and Sidney.


Okay, so I have to confess that I sorta really don't like this scene at all. Maybe if it was anyone other than Jerry O'Connell in his ivy league frat outfit I could enjoy it, but... ugh. Of course, it's meant to evoke Top Gun and it was awful there too, but everytime I think of this scene I just think of how much better it was two years later in 10 Things I Hate About You with Heath Ledger and Julia Stiles on the bleachers. Now that's a musical serenade that I can get behind! Let's look at both.


The only good thing about this scene is watching the reactions on the faces of Portia de Rossi and Rebecca Gayheart.





Mickey is pretty good value, too, with that massive grin on his face, little head-bop dance moves and his ringmaster attitude he makes. The bit where he moves the salt and pepper shakers is cute.






And then there is, of course, the stripper moment.


Actually, maybe this scene isn't so bad after all?


"Isn't that a big frat faux pas?"
"Oh yeah, that is a big no-no. See, you're not supposed to give your Greek letters to your girl. No way, shape or form. The brothers are gonna kick his ass... but it's tradition."
That necklace is so sharp and dangly it's almost like it could be used as a weapon.

Scream:
Intro, Scene 1 Scene 2, Scene 3, Scene 4, Scene 5, Scene 6, Scene 7, Scene 8, Scene 9, Scene 10, Scene 11, Scene 12, Scene 13, Scene 14, Scene 15, Scene 16, Scene 17, Scene 18, Scene 19, Scene 20, Scene 21, Scene 22, Scene 23, Scene 24, Scene 25, Scene 26, Scene 27, Scene 28, Scene 29, Scene 30, Scene 31 Scene 32, Scene 33, End Credits

Scream 2
Scene 1, Scene 2, Scene 3, Scene 4, Scene 5, Scene 6, Scene 7, Scene 8, Scene 9, Scene 10, Scene 11, Scene 12, Scene 13, Scene 14. Scene 15, Scene 16

Secret TV Business

With ABC1's miniseries Paper Giants making the big splash that it did - I didn't get a chance to see it as it aired, but from what I've heard y'all better get used to seeing Asher Keddie win awards - I found it somewhat humourous that Quickflix chose to send me two made-for-TV movies this past week. One is much more famous than the other, but I suspect if more people knew about the lesser-known Australian one that they'd be inclined to check it out due to its cast.


Simon Baker, Jeremy Callaghan, Marcus Graham and Ben Mendelsohn
Secret Men's Business was made in 1999 and stars Ben Mendelsohn, Simon Baker, Marcus Graham, Jeremy Sims and Jeremy Callaghan as five school friends who come together after the death of a beloved teacher. A teacher who, by the way, basically ruined his career by taking the fall for a mistake that was the boys' fault. It's got some trite dialogue and the scope feels sadly stage-bound, but there's something in the way these men interact that is interesting. The idea that straight men are always competing with one another to prove who is the most macho, the most sexually superior and so on has been looked at better in other places, but the overt sexuality to Ken Cameron's direction gives Secret Men's Business a leg up. It doesn't shy away from presenting men as either sexually deviant (the stereotype) and sexually content; they're routinely seen undressed, touching each other and parading about showing off their bodies. We see more of Mendelsohn's skin than any of the women that swan in and out of the proceedings.


Simon Baker was beginning to break out at the time of this, having spent the majority of the 1990s on local soaps E Street, Home & Away and Heartbreak High before a small role in LA Confidential in 1997 lead him to greener pastures. In 2000 he received an AFI Award nomination for his role and was soon cast in The Guardian. Ben Mendelsohn, still looking baby-faced here at odds with his character, on the other hand has always been there in the Aussie film industry and remains to this day, but with his award winning role in Animal Kingdom being seen by a larger number of international viewers it will be interesting to see if people bother to investigate his amazing career. They both do fine work, better than Graham and Jeremy Sims who are working within much smaller character stereotypes, but it's the largely unheralded Jeremy Callaghan who impressed me the most as the meek "Ian Mooney". It's impressive in some aspects, but doesn't quite do enough with its subject (like, say, Men's Group). C+

For the record, Secret Men's Business is all on YouTube if you're unable to find it on DVD.

Whereas Secret Men's Business uses a very tight ensemble to tell it's story, Roger Spottiswoode went in the opposite direction with his Emmy Award-winning TV movie And the Band Played On. With a cast list and unfolding storyline that reads as the definition of "sprawling", this film is set mostly in the 1980s and tells the story of the discovery, and subsequent behind-the-scenes political wrangling, of AIDS. First amongst the gay community, then the Haitian community and then become a full-blown epidemic that knew no sexuality, gender or race.

It's fascinating to learn all the things that went wrong in the fight to control the disease as it swept primarily through America's gay culture. And not just wrong on the side of President Reagan, his government and organisations like the Red Cross (who chose not to spend money testing blood for AIDS "just because" some of the nation's supply had been tainted!), but also on the side of the gay people who refused to open their eyes to the catastrophe that was coming their way.


It stars Matthew Modine - you know, that one from Full Metal Jacket that isn't R Lee Ermey for Vincent D'Onofrio - and Saul Rubinek as scientists, but features all sorts of other actors. There are the respected thespians of Alan Alda, Lily Tomlin, Ian McKellen Steve Martin, Anjelica Huston and Richard Gere. And then there are the character actors that give so much energy to the peripherals of the film, Swoosie Kurtz (stealing best in film honours from Lily Tomlin), Charles Martin Smith, Glenne Headly, BD Wong, Richard Jenkins, Bud Cort, David Marshall Grant and, yes, even Phil Collins.

Curiously, And the Band Played On - I assume it's title is a riff on iconic gay pre-AIDS play/film The Boys in the Band - was released in the same year as Jonathan Demme's Philadelphia and while it's certainly a more brazen film than that one ever was, this was still 1993 and while characters may be more outward in their homosexuality, the film is still muted on expressing affection visually. For a film that tries so hard to expel the myths of how AIDS is passed between people, not one AIDS patient is seen kissing someone on the lips.


I'm lead to believe that Randy Shilts' book was a very big undertaking to adapt and that the screenplay by Arnold Schulman does a good job of condensing the saga down into a easily understandable 140 minutes. What casual everyday audiences made of the film at the time would be fascinating to find out, although I did find that Spottiswoode was... I don't want to say pandering, but definitely put a large focus on the non-gay aspects of the crisis. The scene with Swoosie Kurtz, for instance, feels like a moment to help those straight viewers feel included even if they didn't know what "the gay thing" was all. The best part of the film was the five minute epilogue set to Elton John's "The Last Song" over a montage of people, famous and otherwise, who died from or contracted the illness. It's direct and stirring in a way that hours of medical jargon - a subplot with Alan Alda is necessary part of the history of AIDS, but feels clunky in a film that's already heavy in exposition - simply can't do. Even though it was made in 1993, and much has happened in the near 20 years since then, And the Band Plays On remains a pertinent movie and one of the bravest TV movies I can recall. B

Babies, Crazies and Ladies in Radi...ators: What is Eraserhead?

Damn. I nearly made that title rhyme, didn't I?

Last night I went to see David Lynch's bizarre 1977 debut feature Eraserhead on the big screen in a new 35mm print at the Astor Theatre. A marvellous experience - "experience" being a very apt word to describe any David Lynch viewing, especially on the big screen - to be sure, and one that left me rather speechless. Having seen it once before on DVD, I couldn't have estimated the power that the film has on a cinema screen. Of particular note are the final 30 minutes or so, during which the strange peculiarities that Lynch had been stirring for an hour finally start to sputter and boil out of control, becoming a deranged fever dream of surreal and even spiritual images.

But what exactly is Eraserhead? That, I couldn't possible answer. Is it a grave look at the consequences of bringing a child into the world? Is it a look at the suffocating and depressing lives of the lower class? Is it merely a look at the gradual mental breakdown of a couple, brought to the brink by the cruelness of life? It could be one, all or none of these things.

It rightly secured it's place amongst the original and the greatest cult films ever made, but if you look carefully there is so much to admire from a pure filmmaking stand point. Firstly, surely Eraserhead ranks as one of the most assured directing debuts of all time. The audience would instantly understand what "a film by David Lynch" is and he has, more or less, continued to give audiences just that for decades since to cheers and chagrin of viewers. And while several aspects of this film have been reworked by Lynch into his other films - the discovery of a body part (Blue Velvet), the art design (Twin Peaks), the peculiar bond of family (The Straight Story), the dread-filled sound design (INLAND EMPIRE), even the fade to white operatic final shot (Twin Peaks: Fire Walk with Me, right) - never were they done so authentically and as honestly as here. With his budget of only $10,000 - some of which provided by Sissy Spacek and Jack Fisk! - this is a vision Lynch absolutely had to believe in and while it's not my favourite of his films, it stands up as perhaps his most daring and personal work to date.

In fact, while we're on the subject, while I've always believed Mulholland Drive - my favourite Lynch film - was a "best of David Lynch" type of affair, I'd never really noticed just now much was taken from the 1977 film and supplanted to the 2001 film. The man cranking the levers behind the scenes in Eraserhead could easily be altered as the mysterious homeless man in the alley off Sunset Blvd; the radiator and the blue box are both mystical portals; Laurel Near and Rebekah Del Rio, hello!; the deranged descent into madness of the final scenes; the excruciating meet-the-parents dinner sequences. It doesn't make me think any less of Mulholland Drive mind you, just might make me look at it in a different light upon next viewing. A modern day Eraserhead, perhaps? One without the main character having her brain processed into the little eraser nubs on the ends of pencils, obviously.


Other than Lynch's obvious filmmaking skill, however, there is the performance by Jack Nance. The man who would go on to become a Lynch regular - most famously as Peter Martell in Twin Peaks - gives a performance that somehow manages to emerge clear as day from all that surrounds him. His assortment of confused faces mix perfectly with several moments of inspired, if under-appreciated humour. I particularly love the moment after the chicken has bled on the dinner table and he calmly puts down the carving knife and fork. It's hard to explain, but if you see it I think you'd see what I noticed.

And while Charlotte Stewart (the future Log Lady), Allen Joseph and Jeanne Bates are all macabre and odd as the family X, I want to single out Judith Anna Roberts as the "Beautiful Girl Across the Hall", who I always think looks a bit like Sandra Bernhard. Lynch's camera - cinematographers Herbert Cardwell and Frederick Elmes, presumably two due to the five year filming schedule - frames her gorgeously, constantly emerging and disappearing into pitch black. Those close-ups in the bedroom sequence with Jack Nance are perfection. There's a real old school glamour (to coin a frequently used phrase) and film-noir classiness to the way she is shot, which is surprising giving the rest of the film is not filmed like that at all, instead taking inspiration from the likes of German expressionism.

To say nothing of Laurel Near's "lady in the radiator"... well, even if I haven't the foggiest idea what it means, yet is pure bliss. As has become a regular thing with Lynch, his soundtracks are given just as much prominence as anything else, and while Eraserhead doesn't have much in the way of a traditional score - instead relying more on the omnipresent industrial sound effects and ominous sound design - the moment when Near's heavily made-up, blonde-wigged radiator girl starts to sing a song called "In Heaven", you'd be forgiven for thinking you had in fact been taken there. She's like an older, grotesque Shirley Temple, and it's a rare moment of peaceful clarity in an otherwise terrifying, exhausting and stunning movie. A

RIP Elizabeth Taylor

Many of people from "my generation" who haven't taken the time to investigate the career of the one and only Elizabeth Taylor (she hated to be called "Liz") would probably only know her as an actress that they're meant to like, but who's more famous for marrying a lot of men, releasing perfume, being kooky with Michael Jackson, funny award show mix-ups, AIDS fundraisers and The Flintstones.

I keep meaning to watch more of Dame Elizabeth's films, but get sidetracked. I have, however, seen the performances that are routinely hailed as her best - Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?, Cat on a Hot Tin Roof, Giant, Suddenly Last Summer, A Place in the Sun and Little Women. She is even responsible for the one of the greatest and most poignant moments of The Simpsons' 22 years. Who can forget Elizabeth in that slinky white dress, cooing at Paul Newman as "Maggie the Cat" in Hot Tin Roof? Or, most vital of all, starring as "Martha", sparring with Richard Burton's ""George in Virginia Woolf? Anybody who thinks of her as just a celebrity with a couple of good roles needs to seriously revisit.




Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf? | Cat on a Hot Tin Roof
General Hospital (bloopers) | The Simpsons
As I've already alluded to, my first on screen experience with Elizabeth Taylor was in the 1994 film adaptation of The Flintstones as "Pearl Slaghoople". A misnomer of a beginning for sure. If anybody from my age group hasn't explored Taylor's amazing filmography - and given the sort of readers that I get here, I'm sure that's the case for nobody, but you never know - then run, don't walk, to the, er, online DVD rental service you use and get to it. RIP Elizabeth Taylor.

Art History

Have you seen this video from Art of the Title on the history of film titles? It's an exceptional compilation of amazing design work. I have embedded it below, but I suggest you check out the much MUCH larger version of the video at Art of the Title's own site. It's so glorious.

I think it's apt that Gasper Noe's Enter the Void gets such prominence at the video's end - it's the longest inclusion by far - since a great case could be made for it being the greatest title sequence in cinematic history. Alas, for now, just enjoy the video and bathe in all the beautiful images, eye-popping concepts and inventive typefaces. There's about 80 (edit: this page tells me it's 73?) films and TV shows represented here - I like the inclusion of TV since that is where a lot of the most interesting, daring and visually striking title design work is being created these days since most films don't feel like including much more than a barren title card - although I may have missed some during that bit before Se7en where it goes all speedy and haywire.

But seriously, enough of me yammering on about how great this is. Just watch. Remember, the larger version can be found at Art of the Title.

A Brief History of Title Design from Ian Albinson on Vimeo.

Jane Russell Would've Enjoyed Burlesque!

In my review of Burlesque a month or so back I referenced Howard Hawks' classic 1953 musical Gentlemen Prefer Blondes in my defense that just because a movie is camp doesn't mean it's instantly bad. I questioned what audiences would make of that film, which starred Marilyn Monroe and Jane Russell, who passed away today at age 89, in 2011. I mean, there were some people who reacted so negatively to the camp nature of Burlesque that I can't even fathom how they'd react to Blondes, what with it's musical number titled "Ain't There Anyone Here For Love" wherein Russell parades herself around surrounded by near naked men performing gymnastic routines. The closest Burlesque came to anything like that is when Cam Gigandet strips down to a box of Famous Amos cookies.


I do love Gentlemen Prefer Blondes - I even feature it alongside Burlesque in the blog's banner up the top there - and, as far as pure filmmaking skill goes, I don't think anybody, not even I, could say Steve Antin, director of Glass House: The Good Mother, can come close to the masterful Howard Hawks. And yet I do find it curious how many won't bat an eye at a scene like "Ain't Anyone Here for Love", or anything else in Blondes that is excessively girly. People like to pick and choose, I suppose, with the passing of time.

It was sad to learn of Russell's passing, but hardly surprising being she was 89 years old at the time. Of course, apart from Gentlemen Prefer Blondes, Russell was probably best known as Howard Hughes' cause célèbre with his risque marketing of The Outlaw that placed Russell - and her cleavage - at front and centre. The story was humourously mentioned in Martin Scorsese's The Aviator if you remember that. What I didn't know, but have since discovered, is that she was a fierce advocate of adoption, having adopted three children of her own in the 1950s. That was nice to learn. RIP, Jane Russell.

Beautiful Things

I love a juicy bit of celebrity nostalgia. I love an interesting "behind the scenes" look. I love a great poster. I love Madonna. Add all these together and you can just guess how much I loved reading this article at My Life as a Blog (link via The Film Experience) about the making of the poster for Desperately Seeking Susan in the the mid-80s.

It's written by a man who worked on PR for the somewhat iconic 1985 film and the creation of the actually very iconic poster. It's an ode to the world of celebrity in the 1980s (Madonna catching taxis!) as well as the lost art of poster design that Susan a perfect example of. You know, when actors had to be in the same room rather than Photoshopped from opposite sides of the globe. The piece explains the story behind costume designer Santo Loquasto's duel jackets of the film, has multiple amazing Madonna quotes (even if, naturally, she comes of as a bit of a bitch) and features a cameo by Andre Leon Talley so delicious that I'm positively salivating.

At one point, Ritts was shooting some sultry glamour shots of Rosanna posing against a cloth backdrop, when Madonna came over. After gaping at Rosanna for a minute she said, “You look so good I’d like to fuck you myself.” It was funny, but you could almost hear the air—sssssss!—slipping out of Rosanna’s confidence, as her moment was stolen, and it became all about Madonna. And come on! This was Rosanna Arquette, after all—a true fantasy figure for a good portion of the men in America! Moments later, Madonna grabbed the backdrop, commandeered the same pose… and Herb shot an image that became a famous poster.

I suggest y'all check the piece out, it's fascinating from so many different points of view.

Want more beautiful things?

How about this list of the 50 best title sequences from IFC Film. It's an exhausting list - get prepared to lose at least an hour of your day with it - that includes video of all the films with some great discussion going on, too. I think this moment from the article's introduction is quite truthful, although even serious films seem to have jettisoned the art of opening title sequences, haven't they?

Of course, the current fashion in big blockbusters is to skip the opening credits entirely: a studio name, the film's title, and that's it. That decision says a lot about these big blockbusters' priorities: screw mood and tone! Who cares about characters and themes? Let's get to the action!

I've included some of my favourites below.


The Naked Gun | Do the Right Thing


Charade | Taxi Driver


Seconds | Goldfinger


Warriors | Vertigo
If you asked me to pick a favourite, I would have to go with Taxi Driver, and it's a shame they didn't include any David Lynch intro's since his are always so good with their creation of mood through imagery and music. I actually think Gasper Noe's Enter the Void managed to trump every single one on the list - although I may be jumping the gun - just this past year. I didn't care for the movie, but those opening (and closing, which feature at the beginning?) is a "tour de force"



If, for a moment there, this entry was becoming a piece of "the lost art of something-something" then let me change that by noting that giant floating heads are still alive and thriving. The Book of Siberia has assembled a whole bunch of them together and, I'm sad to say, there are quite a few Australian films featured. I don't think any of these posters are anything, although I'd say my favourite was Breaking the Waves, since the way the images are illustrated has some lovely texture to it. Make sure to click on over for the entire compilation of giant floating heads!


The music branch at the Academy lost any chance they may have mad to make audiences care about the musical numbers when they failed to nominated the Diane Warren penned, Cher performed, "You Haven't Seen the Last of Me" for Best Original Song. The music branch hasn't had "taste" in a very long time, so why choose now to get some. I say that, of course, even though I think the film and the song are both legitimately very excellent, but even I can't deny that the general aura around the film is "omgsocamp!itmustbebad!!", which is a shame. Still, the film was one of only a few to actually insert its original songs into the film in the form of musical numbers and they still don't nominate it? And for "If I Rise"? A song that is, I think quite literally, air. There is nothing there to even be considered a song, right?

Oh well, how's this for... well, whatever it is? James Franco rehearsing a "You Haven't Seen the Last of Me" number for the Academy Awards that will, unfortunately, never see the light of day. Yet another reason to think the Academy's music branch deserves a punch in the face for their incompetence.


It's still better than either of the four songs actually nominated thought (give or take "Coming Home" from Country Strong).

Let's end this with some more "beautiful things" that this entry originally started out as. I went to see "Hairspray" last night at the Princess Theatre. I had originally decided not to see it because, well, the movie is so good that I didn't feel like spending over $100 on seeing it performed on stage, and especially since I'd heard the production used LED screen sets rather than actually, ya know, sets. However, I purchased a couple of tickets at OnyaAid and, ya know, it was for charity!

I really liked it, of course, as one does with "Hairspray". It's hard to dislike, truly. I was a bit disappointed we had the understudy for Seaweed since "Can We Talk" hitmaker Tevin Campbell would've been a trip to see! Remember "Can We Talk"?


Amazing.

Still, my favourite part of the show was getting to watch Jack Chambers on stage for a couple of hours. Is this guy not just one of the most adorkable guys you've ever laid eyes on? Okay, well, for me he is. He was most definitely my favourite from the one season of So You Think You Can Dance that I watched. Why doesn't he realise we're meant to be together? Gosh, how rude! Naturally, I took a few cute screencaps from an interview he did with Undercover. It's what I do.







Okay, so more than a few. We're made for each other, can't you tell?