Review: Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides

Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides
Dir. Rob Marshall
Year: 2011
Aus Rating: M
Running Time: 128mins

These days a trilogy just isn’t complete without a fourth entry to screw up everybody’s DVD shelves of collectable boxsets. Just last month audiences were treated to Scream 4, a sequel that transcended it’s obvious grab-for-cash qualities by reuniting the original trilogy’s director, screenwriter and (surviving) stars. Horror franchises are rarely given such liberties with their fourth instalments as they usually spin off into silliness and irrelevance. Now even Hollywood blockbuster trilogies aren’t safe, even after Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull irked multiple generations of new and old fans alike. Movie series’ such as the Bourne titles and X-Men are getting mutant forth entries. Does nobody respect the sanctity of the movie trilogy?

First though we get Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides, the fourth instalment of the popular franchise that began on such a high of swash and buckle with The Curse of the Black Pearl and ended in excessive blather with At World’s End. Rob Marshall has picked up directing duties from Gore Verbinski, Keira Knightley and Orlando Bloom must still be stuck on that cliffside shack because they didn’t show up either, although Johnny Depp and Geoffrey Rush do return as Captain Jack Sparrow and Captain Barbossa respectively. Screenwriters Ted Elliott and Terry Rossio are still here for writing duties, but they’re clearly working on fumes as On Stranger Tides feels excessively tired and been-there-done-that in almost every regard. Apart from Penelope Cruz’s cleavage. That’s new and special. And in 3D too.


Oh, 3D. Granted, I haven’t seen Clash of the Titans, which is apparently one of the worst uses of 3D on record, but Marshall’s film marked the first time I actually sat there hating the use of this third dimensional technology. Even in films like The Green Hornet or Pixar’s work where the 3D has been used unnecessarily it was never actually flat out bad and never did I actively start to dislike the movie for using it. The tinted glasses do this film no favours whatsoever, making an already dark and interior film look decidedly darker. Unlike the James Cameron produced Sanctum, the caves of On Stranger Tides are rendered muddy and lifeless due to the 3D. There is no depth provided by the technology; in fact, I was able to take the glasses off for a good 40 minutes or so and found no issue at all.

These films are traditionally bright, colourful and vivid with their use of colour and there are stretches of On Stranger Tides that are no different with its lush, tropical greens, yellows and blues. They don’t need the extra technology to look more impressive – nature is the greatest CGI after all. It’s needless and actually disruptive to the film’s quality.

I guess I should just be thankful that this film’s running time is a much more friendly 128 minutes rather than the absurd 170 of At World’s End. Marshall certainly did well in keeping a fine eye on the editing suite, directing the shortest film of the franchise. Marshall, it must be said, as always, has delivered a film of fine technical merit – Penny Rose’s costume design is yet again the unheralded champion, can you believe she hasn’t received a single Oscar nomination for her efforts on this franchise? – but he cannot save the film from its unnecessary, rather ho-hum atmosphere.


The cast are merely going through the motions, although Rush eats so much scenery in his early scenes I was frightened he’s get indigestion! Cruz and Ian McShane make acceptable, if unremarkable, newcomers to the franchise, but Sam Clafin is no Orlando Bloom and you know something’s not right when you write that in a review.

Perhaps it’s just a case of not being able to recreate the initial sensation that came with seeing The Curse of the Black Pearl, but this franchise should just stop. Not even the trademark fight choreography or Cruz’s delicately-placed crucifix can save it. At least the endless parade of sequels that horror franchise’s get don’t cost the GDP of some small nations! The excitement, or even the vaguest of interests, has gone and it’s going to take more than a few fresh faces to get it back. C

Review: Rango

Rango
Dir. Gore Verbinski
Year: 2011
Aus Rating: PG
Running Time: 107mins

It’s the curious fad of live action directors making animated films. Sure, Roger Zemeckis merged the two in his 1988 masterpiece Who Framed Roger Rabbit, but it wasn’t until The Polar Express in 2004 where he jumped on the train – pun unintended – completely. Quentin Tarantino briefly segued into the realm of manga during Kill Bill, Richard Linklater experimented with it on two occasions, George Miller won an Oscar with the tap-dancing penguins of Happy Feet, whilst Wes Anderson and Tim Burton have taken time out of their own whimsical quirky lives to make Oscar-nominated stop motion animation films. Is it just that these directors felt the domain of animation was the best way to tell their stories, or is it – as I suspect – that the world of “cartoons” have come such a ways that they are routinely watched, studied and discussed with more vigour and enthusiasm than most live action work?

Joining the ranks now is Gore Verbinski, whose first animated venture appears to be a bizarre mash-up of resume - Mousehunt, The Mexican and Pirates of the Caribbean. In Rango we have a subversive pseudo-parody western starring the voice of Johnny Depp – the most alive he’s been, on screen or not, in quite a while – as a chameleon lizard who stumbles upon the plot from Chinatown in the desert. There is philosophical roadkill, jokes about promiscuous inter-species sex, references to High Noon, Salvador Dali, weird walking cactus, Las Vegas and a killer rattlesnake. Oh, and a character cameo worthy of a double take. And I’m not even talking about the Hunter S. Thompson moment that will baffle adults just as much as it will children.


Rango is at its greatest during its first hour, where gags fly thick and fast and the action is exciting. Within minutes of being introduced to Depp’s pet lizard character he is waxing philosophical with a half-dead armadillo (voiced by Alfred Molina). No sooner is he running for his life inside an empty bottle from the claws of a carnivorous bird and then making cute with a weird orphan (voiced by Isla Fisher) before becoming the new sheriff in a dying desert town.

The plot moves so quickly at times, with so many characters fluttering in and out of the action that the film’s last act of self-discovery – as is common in animation – feels like its dragging its feet. Perhaps Verbinski and screenwriter John Logan (with story credit going to Verbinski and James Ward Byrkit) didn’t anticipate how these two different paces would co-exist, which they don’t quite.


What does work though is the animation. The first of its kind from Industrial Light and Magic – the visual effects house that’s the home of George Lucas, this is certainly a step up or seven from Nickelodeon and Paramount’s previous efforts Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius and Barnyard. The animation work here is simply stunning, as you would expect from ILM, with every crevice of Rango’s skin, every curve in the dehydrated terrain and every breath of the wind looking like a million bucks (or $135million). It easily rivals Pixar’s Cars and Wall-E as the most gorgeous computer animation ever created. That Roger Deakins was hired as “visual consultant” probably helped somewhat with the unconventional animation angles and viewpoints as well as conception of shots. The look of Rango truly is something to behold. So much so that even when the story lags, there is still plenty of latch on to. B+

Scream to Scream, Scene by Scene: SCENE 9 of Scream (0:31:49-0:35:55)

In this project I attempt to review the entire Scream trilogy scene by scene in chronological order. Heavy spoilers and gore throughout!

SCENE 9
Length: 4mins 6secs
Primary Characters: Sidney Prescott, Billy Loomis, Deputy Dewey, Sheriff Burke, Tatum Riley, Gale Weathers, Kenny the Cameraman and Hank Loomis (CW Morgan)
Pop Culture References:

• None

Gah! It's been nearly a week since the last entry, which is exactly why this project is going to take so long. And I can't guarantee an abundance of entries over the next couple of weeks, what with MIFF and everything that festival entails taking up so much time, but I will try.

But back to business, let's look at Dewey's desk, shall we?

• Red trucker's hat
• Red novelty handcuffs
  
• Dunkin' Donuts bag
• "Comic Cops" signs
• Picture frame

I've been praising the production design so far, but that's some fun set decoration going on right there. I bet he has some floppy discs under those papers, too!


"Let me ask you this; what are you doing with a cellular telephone, son?"
Firstly, HYSTERICAL! A question like this with lingo such as "cellular telephone" is as dated as The Net. However, I must point out completely insensitive this scene plays out by having Sidney and her presumed attacker separated by nothing more than some flimsy venetian blinds. Especially when it allows him to look at her... LIKE THIS!



Although that is some good framing there.


Billy's dad has always felt like a bit of a creep to me. No wonder Mrs Loomis (*where have we heard of her before?*) left him. He's a skeeze. I also like that he seems more concerned about "You went out last night?" as opposed to the HIS SON BEING ARRESTED FOR MURDER, but what would I know?


Do you think Skeet Ulrich was cast based purely on his similarity to Johnny Depp, star of Wes Craven's A Nightmare on Elm Street? This entire scene is framed around Ulrich's hair and how it dangles delicately across his sensitive manboy face.


"They're not letting anybody in."
"I'm not just anybody."
Damn straight you're not, Gale!


If there were a Gale Weathers appreciation society, I think I would join. Love this woman! Especially for moments like this: "Hey, watch the hand! Don't you know who you're dealing with here?" Amazing. I like to imagine she and Kenny the Cameraman were filming a live cross to Woodsboro and that all of this stuff went to air.


One of the things I am enjoying about sharing all of this with you dear readers is pointing out tiny little moments that would otherwise go unnoticed. Such a moment is now, as Sidney sits having just had Billy walk past screaming out at her. In comes Tatum who proceeds to walk over to comfort her. Tatum's walk is what amuses me. Everytime I see it I think of the Seinfeld episode "The Summer of George" in which Molly Shannon plays a woman who must go into physical rehabilitation in order to swing her arms when she walks. It makes me chuckle.


Do you have any idea how long it took me to figure out what a "five and dime" was. A LONG TIME!


"What did Mom tell ya? When I wear this badge you treat me like a man of the law."


"I'm sorry Deputy Dewey Boy, but we're ready to go!"


Poor Deputy Dewey Dwight Riley!


"He's my superior!"
"The janitor is your superior."


Which is scarier? Ghostface lunging at you with a knife or a bitchy tabloid news reporter wearing a lime green ensemble bounding towards you with an overweight cameraman? Hmmm. A question for the ages.


I see what Marilyn Manson saw in Rose McGowan now. She certainly isn't tanned! I do love this last bit of the scene out the back of the Police station between Gale, Tatum and Sidney. The bitchery is off the chart.


"No, Tatum, it's okay, she's just doing her job."


"Yes, that's right."


"So, how's the book?"


"Well, it'll be out later this year."


"Oh? I'll look for it."


"I'll send you a copy!"






"Bitch!"
Yes. Bitch, indeed.

Intro, Scene 1 Scene 2, Scene 3, Scene 4, Scene 5, Scene 6, Scene 7, Scene 8