A Horse Walks into a Trailer

In case you missed it over the last week I thought I'd clue y'all in to these two pieces I wrote for Trespass Magazine recently. On Sunday I looked at the best and worst film posters of June with particularly verbose enthusiasm for Here I Am and Sleeping Beauty. Did June produce the best (Here I Am) and worst (X-Men: First Class) posters of 2011? We'll see soon enough, I guess, but the product is there. On the other side of the film marketing coin are the movie trailers and in the new Trailer Tuesday column I look at two Steven Spielberg projects, The Adventures of Tintin and War Horse. I did not care for either.

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Griff Now Invisible in America

I was surprised to learn that Leon Ford's bittersweet superhero movie Griff the Invisible had been acquired for an American release. Surprised because it's no longer 1995 when this probably would have done gangbusters over there. Instead, it's 2011 where Animal Kingdom can barely gross $1million and where foreign films (in a "foreign language" or not) take a lot of time and effort to reach half of that.

Still, released it will be on 19 August. In to how many cinemas and in what cities I am not sure, but I really liked it so I'd suggest going to see it. And that's even if you are burnt out on superhero movies like X-Men: Born This Way, The Green Lantern, Thor and Captain America. Plus, it's got Ryan Kwanten being adorable so, ya know, there's that.

I always find it curious to note how differently movies are marketed in America compared to Australia, whether they're Australian films or American films. The American poster to the left there has gone for an obvious mass-quirk concept with the hand-drawn images that are such commonplace these days amongst independent dramadies like Griff. It does, however, get the superhero message across better than the local poster, although the very first, Cannes festival poster by Jeremy Saunders is still my favourite. I'm not sure why that one was never used in any official release capacity.

The trailers, on the other hand, are very different and yet essentially the same. Although the US trailer doesn't include the image to your right, which is probably my single favourite shot from a movie so far this year. And for a year that has had Meek's Cutoff, Jane Eyre and The Tree of Life amongst its visual splendours that's quite a big call.


Australian vs American
So, do tell American, will you be seeing Griff the Invisible when you get the chance?

Review: X-Men: First Class

X-Men: First Class
Dir. Matthew Vaughn
Year: 2011
Aus Rating: M
Running Time: 132mins

After The Last Stand and Wolverine failed to recapture the X-Men franchise’s excellence, Marvel have decided to go back in time and show us the groovy beginnings of what would eventually become the “X-Men”. Or, as the case may be, not so groovy. Set in 1962, men and women of all creeds have begun to develop super-human powers. As the changing tides of the world’s social and political landscape take hold, these so-called mutants must discover their place in the world. They must choose either good or evil.

Read the rest at Trespass Magazine
In the review I call this movie X-Men: Muppet Babies, X-Men: Groovy Mutants and X-Men: Born This Way amongst others. Lady Gaga is an unofficial sponsor of this movie, I'm sure of it!

The A-Z of IDAHO

Today is IDAHO - International Day Against Homophobia and Transphobia, don't ask me why they changed T and O in the acronym, okay? - and it's such a valuable day that will sadly no unrecognised in mainstream media. Tell that gay man or woman in your life, or the transgendered friend or family member, that they're important and valued.

Living in Australia right now can be quite sad for GLBT people since we have a Prime Minister and an opposition leader who seem to be battling each other to make the most homophobic statements possible. Hell, our PM is an athiest who "lives in sin" with her boyfriend, and yet she comes out saying that she doesn't believe in gay marriage because Australia has deep Christian roots. To Prime Minister Gillard I say "fuck off!"

I don't really have much to say on the matter because, well, I talk about gay issues quite a lot. Instead of making you read a whole lot of blather about what it means to be gay, I have collected a bunch of film trailers for films that deal with GLBT issues and that have personally affected me in some way. Some of these movies are tough and tragic, others are sweet and magic. So, just like the real world, I suppose. I recommend all of them and if you haven't sought out much in the way of gay cinema then I suggest you avoid the lame comedies that fill the "specialty interest" section of your local DVD retailer (Another Gay Movie, The Fluffer, Eating Out 7), but instead look at some of the daring, groundbreaking, thrilling, funny, touching and wonderfully made movies that have been made by some fabulous talent. The films below aren't necessarily my favourites, but they are great films, some of which don't get discussed enough in this world where A Single Man is the new go-to movie for gay cinema watchers.


The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert | Bear Cub


The Celluloid Closet | The Deep End


The Edge of Seventeen | Far from Heaven


Gypsy '83 | Heartbeats


I'm the One that I Want | Just a Question of Love


Kaboom! | Last Exit to Brooklyn


My Beautiful Laundrette | Newcastle


Orlando | Paris is Burning


Querelle | The Rocky Horror Picture Show


Shortbus | The Times of Harvey Milk


Urbania | Velvet Goldmine


Welcome to the Dollhouse | X2


Yossi & Jagger | Zus & Zo

Mixed Messages

I know they've ridiculously CGI'd Ryan Reynold's body in The Green Lantern (or, more specifically, the costume that he wears), but has this new movie The Change-Up actually gone to the next logical step and CGI'd Reynolds' face? Because that would certainly be a technological advancement of completely unnecessary proportions.


When I was in New York City a little over two years back I visited the Guggenheim and one of the works of art was a room that had been painted entirely in gold leaf. I've just got one more thing to say on the matter: Golden Crotch.


Following in the footsteps of two of the worst posters in memory comes another wonky design for X-Men: Bobbleheads. Why can't this movie get a proper poster that doesn't look Amateur Hour at the Photoshop Lounge. Although, I guess, if you'd been to the Photoshop Lounge and had a few beers then perhaps this poster doesn't look so bad.

Maybe that's the new frontier of key art design: If you're drunk then you won't notice how shit it is!

When Bad Posters Strike: X-Men: First Class

Who knows how I'll feel by the end of 2011, but as of right now? I didn't expect the poster for Barney's Version to be trumped so quickly as worst poster of the year.

I have sat here for the last 45 minutes trying to come up with some reasoning behind the sheer awfulness that is the posters for X-Men: First Class. I can't come up with anything. I am speechless. I am without speech. They are truly beyond words. I think I just have to show them to you and maybe I will have thought of something - anything - to say.


Oh. That took quicker than I thought.

But seriously, what are these? Why are James McAvoy and Michael Fassbender trapped inside the crotch of their adult selves like when Fry drank the Trisolian King in that episode of Futurama. Did adult Magneto drink the liquefied version of his younger self? That's stupid. THESE POSTERS ARE STUPID.

I'm baffled that anybody saw fit to release these upon, ya know, eyes. Did nobody within 20th Century Fox not think these were, ahem, slightly amateurish. These are disastrous and I would expect more for a film of this nature. I don't expect much from films like How She Move or Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li, but to see this level of design from a film of such size as X-Men: First Class? Unforgivable.

Of course, now when I look at them I just laugh, so maybe they're not entirely worthless after all? Need a pickmeup? Look at Jessica Alba pretend to be scared and look at these X-Men: First Class posters!