Not-So-Supergirl

I have a confession to make: I have never seen any of the original Superman films! The very first "Superman" property I ever saw was, naturally, the Lois and Clark TV series from the 1990s. Other than that I had only seen the 2006 movie that was a load of old tosh. I'm not sure if Jeannot Szwarc's notorious 1984 flop Supergirl is an official entry in the Superman series, but I watched it today and it was... not good.

Can I just say how strange that poster up there is? I mean, she never even visits New York City! It makes no sense! GAH!

Truly, Supergirl is an awful, awful movie. As I tweeted throughout, I seriously hadn't much of any idea as to what these frighteningly odd characters were up to with their smoke monsters and witchcraft and overlords and spells and lord knows what else the makers threw into this monstrous affair. Of course, much of my frustration with the "Superman" character (and, obviously, "Supergirl" in this movie) is that I cannot suspect my belief enough to really believe nobody can tell the difference between the real and super version of the character. Truly. I can suspect my belief long enough to believe in characters like Wolverine or the horrors of The Evil Dead, but make me believe nobody can tell the difference between these characters because of a curl of hair or change of hair colour? Impossible. And it just infuriates me to no end.

If the film has any saving grace - and I'd be lying if I didn't think it had some - then it is definitely Faye Dunaway and Brenda Vaccaro as the main villain and her somewhat lesbian witchery partner. Dunaway is just... well, she's outta this world, which is appropriate. She's loony. Vaccaro as the intended comic relief (Dunaway does enough of that so she really wasn't necessary) was clearly just showing up to set each day as a laugh and it shows. Just look at the two of 'em!






Of course, the other good thing about Superman was being able to watch Hart Bochner. He's as dumb as a post and his face is kinda reminiscent of John Travolta from "back in the day", but he has an endearing charm about him. That is when he isn't just showing off his body. And since I did a google and found next to no evidence of this, I though I would rectify that. Tada!






Other than that it's really a piss poor movie. Two hours (!!!) of dull, visually bland "Superman for girls", which really isn't much fun even if Dunaway and Vaccaro are trying their hardest. This came several years after Dunaway (wrongfully) became the brunt of jokes for her Mommie Dearest performance so she was probably just taking any part that was offered to her. And, just because it kinda proves how inept some of Supergirl truly is...


Oh dear (she's meant to be flying). D+