Do You Smell What I Smell?

(sniff, sniff) Do you smell that? Do you? That unmistakable olfactory combination of bourbon, bluegrass, and horse shit can mean only one thing! The first weekend in May is here and its once again time for the Kentucky Derby!

The day when the richest and most pretentious members of our society join the poorest and drunkest rednecks to gather and pray at the church of animal cruelty and degenerate gambling! Hoorah!

We are not horse race aficionados by any means, so if you have come to find out which horse you should pick to place, or which exacta box you should put your next mortgage payment on, we sincerely apologize. We fall into the 90% of America that watches exactly three horse races a year. We are however very entertained by two things associated with the Derby: First, we love the ridiculous names that these idiots have saddled (eh? eh?) these horses with. Imagine if you had to walk around all day and answer to “Teuflesberg” or “Scat Daddy.” That being said, because we know nothing about horse racing, every year we pick what horses we bet on based on their names. So all WCT money will be going on “Any Given Saturday,” and “Nobiz Like Shobiz.”

The Second thing we love about the Derby is of course the hot women in stupid hats.

But that was obvious wasn’t it?

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Enjoy the race sports fans, and enjoy cinco de mayo. We will be thinking of you as we sip tequila juleps.